


Adagio for Three

by f0rt1ss1m0



Series: Beach City's a Landlocked Farm Town [1]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe - 80's, Alternate Universe - Human, Ambiguous Sex Scenes, Awkwardness, F/F, Falling In Love, First Kiss, First Time, Homophobia, Lots of Firsts, Racism, Teen Pregnancy, Trans Female Character, Transphobia, Unplanned Pregnancy, all intolerant people are punched appropriately, i'm a sad virgin, trans Bismuth, trans ruby
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-27
Updated: 2016-12-26
Packaged: 2018-08-11 07:29:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 22,493
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7882225
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/f0rt1ss1m0/pseuds/f0rt1ss1m0
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>-</p><p>Ruby likes Sapphire. That shouldn't be a problem. But it's 1982 in a conservative southern town, Ruby is a shy black trans girl competing with her triplet brothers, and Sapphire is her boss's passive daughter. When a fiery one night stand leads to an unplanned pregnancy, Ruby and Sapphire must join hands to raise their child and find what love really looks like — if this is love at all.</p><p>-</p><p>Prequel to How to Fit Your Heart in a Petri Dish, but can be read separately.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I have never been to a prom. I have also not lived in the 80’s. I have never fallen in love, I have never had sex, and I have never had to run away from an abusive household. The only thing I have done is be gay and genderqueer.
> 
> In other words:
> 
> what am i doing

It was prom night, April 1982, and Ruby didn’t think she could feel more sick than she did.

She stood in the tiny bathroom, dark hands gripping the sides of the sink almost hard enough to bruise. Randy and Ricky were waiting — she could hear them now complaining loudly about how long their prissy baby brother took to get ready, come on Rudes would’ja just give us a turn now, you’re not the only one who wants a Sapphy on your arm. It didn’t help.

For one, Ruby hated it when they talked about Sapphire like that, like she was just some rich ornament to hang off their cologne-soaked bodies. So what if they weren’t serious. Hell, it would be just as bad, Ruby had pointed out to her triplet brothers, because someone could easily overhear and that could be as damning as a witness account from Sapphire herself. And they needed this job; no, their _family_ needed this job. The Corundums had served the Songs since before Ruby and her brothers had been born. If the Songs found any thread of disrespect, it could be ruinous to the whole family.

For two, she didn’t even like this suit; the starched shirt itched and the bow tie felt more like a noose. It was almost insulting to suggest that she would take any amount of time admiring them when Ruby would feel more comfortable in a hot dog costume.

For three, she knew she had no chance with Sapphire, even if she wasn’t millions of dollars below the stunning heiress. Sapphire had spurned more pining suitors than the rest of the Song family combined, all of them richer and bigger and...well...more manly than she. And even if Sapphire was to pick one of her identical triplet bodyguards, she’d never go for _Ruby._  No amount of primping in the mirror would change that.

Taking a deep breath, Ruby adjusted her large glasses — the one thing to set her apart from her brothers — and straightened her back. “You can do this,” she whispered the feeble mantra. Someone, probably Randy, was pounding on the door.

“All right, all right, I’m done! Don’t break the door down,” Ruby called back and jiggled the handle to unlock it. A microsecond later, Randy stormed through.

“Outta the way! I’ll protect Sapphire better, just you wait!”

Ruby always wanted to laugh when Randy said stuff like that because for someone so blustery, he had such a high, almost childish voice. They all did really. For herself, Ruby liked it because it allowed her to sing alto, but Randy and Ricky got all flustered with their voices and tried to talk like baritones.

This second brother, Ricky, was leaning against the wall outside the tiny bathroom, fully dressed. If Sapphire was to pick anyone, it would probably be Ricky — he was charismatic, a born suit-wearer, and seemed know everything like the back of his hand. “What are _you_ waiting for?” Ruby asked. Ricky fiddled with his sleeve and shrugged.

“To get ready, duh.”

“You don’t look like you need it,” scoffed Ruby.

“Thanks, dude,” replied Ricky coolly. Despite the indifferent exterior, Ruby could tell that he was extremely flattered.

After a while, during which Ruby found it very hard to not fiddle with the corsage on her lapel, Ricky asked, “Rudy, you okay?”

Ruby was very good by now at not reacting when someone said her birth name, as she could name literally one person in the world who didn’t use it. Still, she couldn’t help but think that her discomfort was getting worse with time.

“Yeah. I’m fine,” she lied. Ricky didn’t even hesitate.

“Liar, liar, pants on fire. Spill.”

Ah well, she tried. “It’s Sapphire. I’m just nervous.”

Ricky looked at her and stuck his hands in his pockets. “Why’re you nervous? We do this every day in regular school. And you’re in more classes with her anyway ‘cuz you’re smart and stuff, so you know her better.”

“Yeah, but we can’t talk to her at school,” Ruby insisted, “and it’s different like this. Sapphire’s not allowed to dance with people her mother doesn’t know, but what if she wants to anyway? Miz Song didn’t exactly give a list of instructions, so…?”

“Then you ask her to dance before she can get to him.”

The suggestion was almost ridiculous. “Me?!”

“I said you, didn’t I? You can hand her to me if you really don’t want her, but our job is to protect Sapphy from anything the missus doesn’t want touching her. And that includes stranger boys. So why not do it politely, instead of saying don’t dance with anyone, say dance with one of us instead! That way we keep her safe _and_ have a dance partner too. Knock out two birds with one stone.” Ricky held up his fists and mock-punched the air. “Yeah.”

Ruby wasn’t as sure about this, and found herself fiddling with her corsage again. _Gah, stop it._ She glanced at her watch instead — 6:20.

Finally Randy got out of the tiny bathroom, Ricky went in, and within fifteen minutes (honestly Ricky took longer to get ready than Ruby, so it made no sense that he’d been the one complaining about her taking forever) the triplets headed out. In the traditional plantation style, the mansion’s original owner had built the main building first and added separate servants’ houses on the same plot of land. For Ruby and her brothers, that meant a brisk walk through the immaculate backyard and into the servants’ entrance. And as Ruby always did, she spared a glance upwards to the third window on the second floor, where she saw a silver curtain flick down. Something blue flashed beyond.

And Ruby’s anxieties returned in a wave that left her numb.

She would never admit it, but she wished for her mother as she waited at the bottom of the stairs. Maybe it was because she was nervous. Or maybe it was because Mrs. Song also stood by the stairs, waiting to send her youngest daughter off to prom instead of scrubbing pots in the mansion’s kitchens — that’s where Mom was now. Normally, Ruby didn’t mind. But she knew Mom would like to see her sons off to prom, and now Ruby couldn’t stop thinking about it. _She’s just doing her job,_ Ruby tried to remind herself, _and so are you. This isn’t prom for you. It’s just a job._

The sound of an opening door echoed in the cold hall, and inadvertently Ruby stiffened in sync with her two brothers. _Showtime_ , she knew they were thinking. All eyes were on the top of the staircase.

And Sapphire stepped into the light. She moved like an angel, or at least all that Ruby imagined an angel to move like — as if she could walk on air, her shoes making only the most delicate taps on the polished floor. Hair like an artist’s ink, full and glossy black, swept behind her shoulders. Her white-gloved hands were clasped demurely in front of her; she wore a dress of dark blue satin that flared out at her gracious hips and swept the floor. She had no jewelry save the small bracelet she always wore over her gloves, a silver thing with a sapphire charm.

As she floated down the stairs, she kept her head bowed, her hair falling forward to shadow her eyes. Ruby was never quite sure how Sapphire could see like that. In all her eighteen years of service she had never seen past those carefully trimmed bangs.

She sometimes wondered if Sapphire could see her staring. Most of her hoped not, but a tiny part of her disagreed.

Sapphire stopped before her mother, gave a modest curtsy, and returned to bowing her head. “Mother, I am ready to leave.”

Mrs. Song inclined her chin and responded in cold, rapid-fire Korean. Ruby caught only one word: _see_. Of course, she mostly likely wasn’t meant to catch anything — the Songs only spoke in Korean if it was a private conversation and Mom hadn’t wanted them learning the language to respect their employers’ privacy. But that hadn’t stopped Ruby from picking up phrases, mostly from Sapphire, whose friends often asked for her to teach them words. The friends always forgot. Ruby never did.

“Yes, Mother,” Sapphire responded in Korean when her mother had finished, and again that was all Ruby clearly understood. She said “see” again but in a different verb form, then something else entirely in the future tense. After something sounding like “my bodyguards”, Mrs. Song glanced over to Ruby and her brothers. This wasn’t new, and it was most likely an innocent remark. But Ruby could never help but wonder what she had said.

Finally, after an emotionless exchange too quick for Ruby to catch, Mrs. Song tilted Sapphire’s chin up with her thin, blue-gloved hands. “Be smart, Sapphire,” was all she said. Then, with her maid in her wake, she took to the stairs from which her daughter had just come.

Ruby stiffened up again when Sapphire turned towards her and her brothers. From a tiny white purse dangling on her wrist, the heiress drew out a small ring of four keys and handed it out to Ruby. Their fingertips barely brushed, hadn’t even touched with the silk glove between them, and they performed a similar ritual every morning, but like always a delightful shiver ran down Ruby’s spine. What she would give to keep the contact a second longer.

As silent as always, the heiress and the three bodyguards headed out to the garage where the Songs kept their five cars. Ruby (the only one to pass driver’s education) drove, Randy sat in the passenger seat, Sapphire and Ricky took the backseat with the empty center seat between them. It never made sense to Ruby to have Sapphire in the back because the passenger’s seat was so much nicer, even if the back was safer and safety took priority in the Song family. Sapphire should be next to her, Ruby thought as she backed out of the garage, and then tried to stop the heat in her cheeks as she realized why such an idea had passed through her mind.

“It’s a pretty evening out!” she burst very loudly.

It had been mostly to distract herself and not exactly tactful, as now all eyes were on her. She toed a rule and they all knew it. Small talk was not to be made with anyone while in the presence of Sapphire. But when Ruby glanced in the rearview mirror, she noticed Sapphire incline her chin.

“Yes,” she responded, “I suppose it is.”

They arrived at the prom location, a beautiful old hotel on the crown end of main street, on time and just as a lavender evening began to paint the sky. The gentle, summery breeze plucked at Sapphire’s long hair. Moving in habitual formation, Ruby locked the car and went to her place — Randy and Ricky always walked in front to clear a path, Ruby always walked behind to ensure Sapphire’s safety — until a hand tugged the sleeve of her suit as she passed.

Bewildered, Ruby turned to Sapphire, still inscrutable behind her hair. Yes, it had been Sapphire to touch her, but there was nothing she could want. “Is there something wrong, ma’am?”

“No, thank you, Rudy. But I believe the custom for prom is to enter with a definitive partner.”

She glanced coolly over to a parked car nearby, where a boy held the door open for his yellow-clad date and now took her hand, accepting it in the crook of his arm. And just as the other couple walked off together, something soft slipped deftly under Ruby’s arm as well.

Ruby saw the shock and excitement on her brothers’ faces before she could formulate her own. If they had been able to speak, she was sure they would have said something stupid like “Baby Brother’s reeling in” or “Get ‘er, tiger!” And as identical twins and triplets are known to do, Ruby knew that they were all thinking the same thing: this was _incredible._

Together, with Randy and Ricky clearing the path and Ruby holding Sapphire’s gloved hands in the crook of her arm, they showed their tickets at the door and stepped onto the battlegrounds. And Ruby thought she must be paranoid when she described it to herself as such, but that’s just what it was — they found the ballroom and the doors opened and Ruby found herself immersed in music, voices, and perfume. On the dance floor, girls dressed like flowers swirled around their straight-backed dates. The song played wasn’t slow, but from the lyrics, it certainly was romantic, and wherever Ruby looked, she saw a girl and a boy locked at the lips.

It was almost too much. Then Ruby remembered the soft hands pressing through her suit sleeve, and instead of the dance she found herself looking at only Sapphire.

Randy found the reserved four seats that corresponded with their tickets, then both brothers went to check with the caterers if the meal was dairy free — Sapphire was lactose intolerant. This left Ruby to pull out Sapphire’s chair and even sit next to her, something that was once just a dream, but which now seemed to be the socially appropriate thing to do. There was no one else at the table for eight, though the coats draped over the other four chairs signified that they wouldn’t be alone at dinner.

This would be new. During a regular school day, Sapphire sat with a select group of friends who all passed under Mrs. Song’s criteria of wealth, family, upbringing, grades, social history, mannerisms, and presentation. Ruby and her brothers, as servants and not real students to the private school, sat on a small bench within earshot. Occasionally a kind soul would join them, in particular another transgender girl named Bismuth who had helped Ruby identify herself.

But the people at this table would be virtual strangers, Bismuth was nowhere to be seen, and Sapphire was close enough for Ruby to hold her hand — though she couldn’t understand how _that_ radical idea came to mind. The entire situation screamed risky. But Sapphire had so far shown no interest in doing anything except sit with her hands folded, gazing impassively out at the dance from behind her locks of black hair, saying nothing about any of the things that Ruby had noticed and Sapphire must have noticed as well.

“What a beautiful place to hold a prom,” the heiress said, a nearly inscrutable note of awe echoing in her flat tone. “I wish I could have done more at this dance.”

Like most remarks Sapphire made, Ruby could hardly make heads nor tails out of this one. She spoke of the dance like they were about to leave, but they had just arrived. “Uh...there’s still time,” Ruby offered awkwardly. To this, Sapphire’s plump lips twitched into a smile.

“That is a nice thought, but...no.”

It was then, as Ruby was about to ask what Sapphire meant, that Ricky and Randy decided to return. “Great news,” Randy announced proudly, folding his thick arms over his chest, “there is no lactose in steak, French bread, or vegetables!”

“ _I_ could have told you that, dweeb.” Ricky rolled his eyes and smoothly claimed the seat on the other side of Sapphire. As Randy scowled and took the seat next to Ricky, Ricky stuck his tongue out of the side of his mouth.

It was all fun and games, Ruby knew, and they weren’t _really_ mad about one or the other getting Sapphire’s attention on this special night, but their unprofessional behavior was still toeing the line. She glanced at her watch for the umpteenth time that night. _7:24,_ it read, and dinner was to be at 7:30.

It was going to be a long night.

The people on the dance floor soon began filtering out to the tables, and Ruby found herself now also in the company of two couples. There was a pudgy, bespectacled boy named Willis from Ruby and Sapphire’s math class; Ruby had helped him on some problems before. He was with a frankly quite plain-looking redhead who Ruby didn’t recognize, but they seemed happy to be there together and had even coordinated their outfits in a garish orange theme.

The couple sitting closer to Ruby was a little more classy, and unfortunately, Ruby knew both of them. The girl was Karen Gossamer, a skinny blond famous for her family’s wealth and a cheerleading stint in which she “accidentally” flashed an inappropriately provocative pose at a football game to amuse the football players. The boy was one of the football players, Jake Lyre, and at the sight of him Ruby decided that she wanted Sapphire out of this table. Lyre was nothing but trouble. Dream son-in-law when adults were looking, pervy player when they weren’t. Ruby couldn’t count the times she had caught Lyre turned around in his desk during English class, trying to get Sapphire to talk to him. Both Karen and Lyre were in silver.

And Lyre wasn’t looking at his date.

Unfortunately, Ruby was the only thing in between Sapphire and Lyre, as Karen was on the other side and checking her makeup in a compact mirror. Ruby glared at Lyre. The kid just looked right past her as if she didn’t exist.

“Look who finally came out of her nest,” Lyre said, clearly to Sapphire. “The little songbird.”

God, this kid’s pickup lines were _terrible._ Ruby noticed that her two brothers were ear-deep in the food, and yes it was delicious, but they weren’t paying attention. She coughed loudly.

“Hello, Jacob,” responded Sapphire coolly. “How is your mother’s bank?”

Lyre leaned forward onto the table. “Oh, it’s great,” he replied distractedly, his eyes fixated below Sapphire’s neck. “Listen, Sapph, we’ve known each other for a while now, and I noticed you’re here with just your serving boys, and my date’s not as interesting as I thought she’d be…”

Ruby coughed louder. Lyre’s gaze flicked up, narrowing into a glare.

“And we had a conversation we were going to finish — ”

Desperate and a little on-edge now, Ruby took a giant swig of water and proceeded to pretend to choke on it. Finally, Randy and Ricky found something more interesting than their food.

“Oh my God, Rudy, are you choking?” Randy yelled.

In response, every eye within a fifteen foot radius swung towards Ruby. She abruptly stopped choking.

“I’m fine,” she managed.

The words gained more meaning when Sapphire placed her gloved hand on her back. Slowly, most of the eyes turned away, except Lyre’s. He was scowling.

“Look, Sapph,” he suddenly turned the scowl into a charming chuckle and leaned further forward onto the table, “I know your super strict Chinese mom makes you come with these losers, but she’s not here. Why don’t you put your man over there and come closer to me? Then we can talk without...the servants in our way.”

Nope, nope, nope. “Th- that’s not permitted!” Ruby reacted before her logical mind could cross-reference one rule with another. Annoyance flickered across Lyre’s face. Ruby faltered, suddenly aware of what she’d said and more importantly how she’d said it, but decided to stand for her word. Lyre didn’t have any business speaking about Mrs. Song like that or questioning her authority regardless of his status. She wasn’t even Chinese.

“We might not be in class, but Mrs. Song’s rules still stand,” Ruby said carefully, locking eyes with Lyre. “If you wanna sit next to Sapphire so bad, you’re gonna have to move me yourself.”

Lyre didn’t respond for a second, his left eye twitching. Then, huffing, he turned back towards his food.

“Whatever. I don’t care.”

Ruby felt a small surge of victory there. It meant that he actually did, but that she had won.

After the lavish dinner, Lyre and the other guests from the table got up to dance. Sapphire did not move. Ruby noticed the table shaking minutely as someone, probably Randy, jiggled his leg and Ricky drummed his fingers on the table. She knew what they were thinking because she was thinking it too — why _were_ they here if Sapphire was just going to sit? They were some of the only ones still at the tables. No, Ruby corrected herself as the music switched to an energetic rock song and a girl at the table next to them was swept up by her friends. They were the only ones.

“Randall? Richard? Rudy?”

Ruby found herself automatically chorusing “Yes, ma’am?” with her brothers.

“I give you all permission to enjoy the dance on your own. I will stay here.”

“Thank you, ma’am,” said Ricky.

“Rad,” said Randy.

“What?” said Ruby.

Ricky and Randy stood up, and Ruby’s twitching feet wished to follow, but she couldn’t. She knew she wouldn’t forget it if she did. Even as her brothers raced out to the dance floor, she folded her hands in her lap and stared straight forward.

“Rudy,” said Sapphire inevitably.

“Yes, ma’am?”

“I am allowing you to dance. Isn’t that what you wanted?”

“With all due respect, ma’am,” she replied truthfully, “I prefer to stay here with you.”

Sapphire’s beautiful mouth opened, then closed. But she did not reply.

They sat in awkward silence — relative silence, that is, as the prom raged around them. Ruby had an itch on her neck she didn’t dare scratch. The corsage on her lapel, black and white like Sapphire’s, was a little crooked but she didn’t want to mess it up further.

So they sat.

Eventually the dance began to change as the song ended, leaving students excited and flirty. Slow, thrumming chords filled the ballroom. Across the dance, Ruby spied Ricky on the arm of a tall blonde. Randy was with some other single boys and emptying the chocolate fountain. Girls drifted to boys and boys drifted to girls and Ruby wondered if she would ever be able to do such a thing.

Then Sapphire stood up.

Automatically, Ruby stood up too. “Ma’am?” she asked, perplexed. Sapphire always stated where she was going before she stood up. The heiress turned to Ruby as if nothing was out of the ordinary.

“I’m going to enjoy more of this dance.”

Ruby relaxed some — she didn't know what she had been expecting, but it hadn't been that. That was fine. Then, purely by chance, she caught a subtle flash in the corner of her eye. A tall, silver-suited young man roamed the dance floor, his partner missing. Lyre. _If I let Sapphire out there alone…_

“Sah- Sapphire!” Ruby burst. “Can you dance with me?”

Immediately after the words were out, Ruby wished very much to pound her head into the table. Oh, if Mrs. Song were to ever know… She could always say she had done it out of protecting Sapphire, but it would still earn her at least a night hungry.

 _No_ , she amended. _It WILL earn me at least a night hungry. Sapphire’s gonna say no and tell her mother and we know what she thinks about interracial meddling and class mixing and I’m going to be let go and oh God why did I say that?! Stupid Ricky, if he hadn't given me that advice I would never have thought of it oh God I'm dead —_

“Sure,” said Sapphire.

“Huh?”

Sapphire’s hand was right there, empty and palm down, waiting for someone to take it. For _Ruby_ to take it.

 _This can't be real,_ Ruby thought.

“Oh. Alright,” she said.

Her hand was shaking as she took Sapphire’s, the cool silk gloves sliding across her calluses. Just another reminder that she didn’t have the right to do this. But then the reality of the moment was there, the soft yellow lights and the slow song around them, and then Sapphire’s other hand was resting against her chest, in the perfect place to feel how fast her heart was beating. It must have been obvious that Ruby didn't know how to dance because Sapphire murmured, “Put your other hand behind my back. You don’t have to do any special steps, just move when I move.”

“Oh...okay.”

Ruby’s cheeks were so hot that she found it hard to breathe, and when she put her hand in the small of Sapphire’s back like she saw some other boys doing, her hand trembled. Sapphire was _so close._ She swayed conservatively yet mesmerizingly back and forth to the song, Ruby stiffly echoing her movements. Free strands of her smooth black hair glowed dark gold from the lights to her back.

The worries were just a thought now, paling in comparison to the wonder that was…this. Ruby couldn’t tell if Sapphire was looking at her. She both hoped so and hoped not. They were the same height, which was short, so their eyes would have no excuse to meet if not for Sapphire’s hair…Ruby wanted to push it away, but ignored the urge.

“Rudy,” murmured Sapphire, just as the chorus of the song swelled.

It was a surreal feeling, hearing Sapphire say her name like that, even if it wasn’t the name Ruby had imagined her saying. That made it even stranger. Like her dream was playing out, but to a different person.

“Y…yes, ma’am?”

Sapphire looked at her — Ruby was certain now — before lowering her head. “Thank you.”

“Oh. You’re welcome,” Ruby replied. “Um…”

A mistake. She shouldn’t have said anything after “you’re welcome”; Sapphire was too perceptive. She inclined her chin.

“Yes, Rudy?”

“Nothing, ma’am.”

“You're an awful liar.” Sapphire paused for two beats of the song. Then she said, “You seem troubled.”

“I'm fine, ma'am,” Ruby said automatically, but Sapphire didn't take it.

“You've served me and my family for eighteen years, Rudy. You should know that won’t suffice.”

She took a half-step closer. Her puffy dress pressed up against Ruby’s legs, rustling ever slightly.

“Tell me what's wrong.”

Ruby couldn’t disobey.

“Do you ever...have something about yourself,” she hesitated, “and it's not a bad something. Or...maybe it is. But it's something that you feel like you can't change, and if you tell other people, they might think it's bad…and you just feel so confused and weird…do you ever feel like that?”

“Yes,” Sapphire said. “Unfortunately, in my line of work, it's a requirement.”

“Huh?”

“I'm sorry. Were you saying something?”

She deflected Ruby's question so easily that if Ruby didn't know better, she would have thought that it was unintentional.

“No, that's it.”

Ruby had lied.

The song faded out; some dancers bent down to kiss their partners. Ruby stepped back and her hands went automatically to her stomach.

“I’m sorry, I have to go,” she found herself saying. Oh God, that meat and salad were about to see light again. “F- find Randy or Ricky, please, I need to go — ”

Against her better judgement she took off.

For the second time that day she found herself bent at the waist over a sink, hands clutching the sides. It was a very nice sink and she knew anyone who came in wouldn’t like a short black kid puking in it, but...well. When you gotta go, you gotta go.

She didn't throw up, but did come awfully close and splashed cold water on her face to help the sickening heat in her face. She couldn't believe what she had just done — not just danced with Sapphire, but almost come out to her. Then she _lied_ to her.

_What was I supposed to do then? If I didn't lie to her and say I didn't mean anything by that, I would have had to tell her that I’m transgender, and then the Songs would fire me! But I LIED to her, she probably thinks I did something terrible, she'll tell her mother about how I danced with her and then I'll get fired too — UGH!_

Her eyes prickling, Ruby took off her glasses and slumped to the ground against the wall. This was a nightmare; it had to be. “And now I’ve left Sapphire alone,” she murmured, pulling her tucked shirt out and wiping off her glasses. “Or with those two dumbasses. Wherever they are.”

That was right — she hadn't made sure Sapphire made it safely back to Ricky or Randy either. Another reason she would bring dishonor to her family. Taking a shaky breath, she stood up, tucked her shirt back in, and replaced her glasses.

She had a terrible feeling about this.

When she returned to the ballroom, it didn't take long for her to find one of her brothers. Randy had collected a crowd with his dancing, a provocative mix of mismatched dance styles that didn't look bad when done like he did. But Sapphire was nowhere to be seen. Ruby scanned the bystanders for any spot of royal blue, hoping she would be watching or with Ricky, but as she saw Ricky and his partner together and Sapphire-less on the other side of the floor she realised the terrible, terrible thing.

Sapphire was not here, and it was all her fault.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warnings: homophobic/transphobic language, sexual content
> 
> also at least ONE glaring spelling/grammar mistake that i know i missed

This wasn’t like her. There was something wrong, Ruby knew it — Sapphire never just  _ left  _ places, but she had. Even if she needed to use the restrooms, she always let at least one Corundum triplet know so that they didn’t worry. On the rare case that Sapphire was only with one of them and they had to leave, she would instantly locate another. She should have been in the ballroom because that’s where Randy and Ricky were. But true to Ruby’s fears, Sapphire was nowhere to be found. 

Ruby felt a flare of hope as she returned to the dinner table and saw someone there, but it was only Karen Gossamer. “Oh, it's just you,” she said over the lump in her throat. Karen passed her a bored glare. 

“Yeah, it's me,” she scowled. “Got a problem with that?”

“I can't find Sapphire,” Ruby cut in. “Have you seen her?”

Karen held up her hands. “Whoa. For one, take a chill pill, servant. For two, this is prom. Your date’s probably off kissing my date.”

Ruby had started to reply “I’m not her date, I’m her bodyguard” but stopped before the third word. “Wh...what?”

“It’s what girls do, if you didn’t know,” Karen snapped. “You come to the dance. You get tired of your douchebag date, you make out with someone else to make him mad, you go home with a different guy. Sapphire probably didn’t want you hanging over her shoulder like you always do.”

But it wasn’t helpful information at all. Ruby’s head spun, wondering what this meant, if Sapphire had meant to leave like Karen said or if —  _ no. _ “Did you see them?” Ruby asked, a lump in her throat. 

“Ugh, I don’t know, I think I saw Jake go with Sapphire out that door, like they were leaving or some shit. Just — don’t tell him you talked to me.”

“Okay thank you so much and I won’t.”

Ruby left before she could finish her sentence. She raced to the door and into the corridor despite hardly being able to breathe, despite the chill down her spine, despite the poor hotel employee who asked, “Sir, are you alright?” 

“No,” Ruby replied, panting. “Have you seen a Korean girl in a blue dress and a white boy in a silver tux?”

The flustered young man pointed towards the lobby. Ruby thanked him before running off again. 

She repeated the question again to the bellboy, who gestured out the main door and said, “They were just leaving.” 

_ Shit.  _

She crashed through the main door, looked frantically around and spotted a glimmer to her left. And there they were. Blue and silver, retreating past the rows of cars in the hotel parking lot. Lyre clearly led the way, his awful hands — invading, too big — threatened to bruise as he pulled Sapphire by the wrist. He was moving fast and Ruby was moving faster.  _ No. No, no, no, no, NO! _

“HEY, DICKWEED!” Ruby shouted as she ran.

He whirled around, giving Ruby the perfect time to take Sapphire by the shoulders and push her away. Lyre, surprised, now held only a white glove; Ruby stood between him and Sapphire. 

But then he dropped the glove and glared at Ruby, looming over her measly five feet of height. Ruby’s mouth went dry.  _ Oops,  _ she thought, then —  _ Sapphire.  _ The girl had fallen when Ruby had pushed her out of the way, hair askew, little white purse on the ground, her right hand bare. Ruby stepped in front of her, now inches away from Lyre. 

“Get away from Sapphire.”

Lyre met her eyes briefly and smirked. “Sapph…” he chuckled in a voice that was almost charming. “You hear this, baby? Get your man out of here. Oh — I’m sorry — your  _ girl.  _ Your sensitive little tranny girl.”

He would have been better off twisting a rusty dagger in Ruby’s stomach.

“Wh — what?” she stammered.  _ God, this can’t be happening. _ “What — kinda — dumb insult is…” 

“Oh, I dunno, why don’t you ask your tranny friend? Business, is that what he calls himself now? Ooh…sorry.  _ She. _ ” The excess sarcasm dripped. Lyre took a step forward, fingers wrapping slowly into fists. Inadvertently, Ruby took a step back, tripped over slippery silk, and landed next to Sapphire in a clumsy sprawl. Her palms stung from where they scraped the asphalt. 

_ This can’t be happening. _

“Rudy…”

The soft voice drew Ruby up again. Sapphire didn’t move from where she fell, only stared at Ruby from not a hand’s reach away. Her face, as always, was inscrutable.

“Is this true?” was all she asked. 

“You mean your servant being a faggot? You bet it’s true,” Lyre cut in. “Honestly, I can’t believe everyone in the academy doesn’t know, their kind of people are so  _ loud.  _ Whining all the time at lunch ‘ohh, we’re so disrespected, us tranny fags, who put on lipstick in the locker room when we think we’re all alone!’”

“That’s not what — ” Ruby tried to say, but she couldn’t put any force behind it. Lyre knew everything. 

It had just been once. Once, junior year, when Ruby had been questioning and she and Bismuth had the same gym hour. Sapphire had been home sick, so there was no class to rush her to, so after everyone left the locker room Bismuth pulled out the bright purple stick and compact mirror she had bought from a dollar store. She had liked it. Ruby hadn’t. As they were washing the lipstick off, Ruby swore she had heard a rustling of fabric from behind a row of lockers, but by the time she checked there was nothing there. 

Nothing except what was going to be the end of Ruby’s world.

Sapphire didn’t turn away, her hidden eyes still fixed upon Ruby. But Ruby couldn’t return it. She couldn’t resist, she couldn’t speak, she couldn’t believe what was happening. It was just too much.

“Listen, Sapph,” continued Lyre, stepping towards the girl, “we’ve got a deal to settle. You go with him, I’ll tell my mom what your bastard family did, then I’ll tell the whole school you’re just as much of a fag as  _ he _ is. But come with me, and I’ll show you the best night of your prissy life. I’ll pretend I didn’t see anything _.  _ How about it?”

He held out his hand. Out of the corner of her eye, Ruby saw Sapphire look up at Lyre, then back to Ruby. 

And Sapphire said, “Thank you, Rudy. You did your best.”

It was then, as Lyre snatched up Sapphire’s tiny hand and yanked her to her feet, that Ruby realized what Sapphire meant. She had known that Ruby would fail, that Lyre would be here, that he would try to use her when she was alone for…for whatever this twisted  _ deal  _ was. Sapphire had accepted that. But Ruby could not. 

She found herself staggering to her feet, wiping her hands on her pants, taking two long steps forward. Again, Lyre heard her and turned around, but it was too late for him. Ruby gave no warning and showed no mercy. 

_ “NO!” _

Her fist connected with Lyre’s jaw. 

His head snapped backwards; he hit the asphalt with an audible  _ smack!  _ Ruby suddenly worried, unfortunately after the fact, that she had seriously hurt him or even knocked him unconscious, but as soon as he fell he caught himself on his hands. Grunting, he struggled to push himself up again. Blood streamed from his nose. 

“This isn’t over,” Lyre threatened, eyes wild. “I’ll tell, you know! I’ll tell everyone he’s a tranny and your family’s a scam, just you wait!”

Sapphire didn’t respond, only looked to the side. Ruby met Lyre’s gaze. “Good luck after you’re arrested for attempted rape,” she told him, her mouth dry, before taking Sapphire’s hand in the crook of her arm and leading her away. 

They headed towards the car for some reason — granted, Ruby was in a good deal of shock, but somewhere she had recognized that Sapphire should go home. Randy and Ricky would be fine to stay at the prom by themselves. 

Ruby doublechecked that the doors were locked, looked at Sapphire in the passenger’s seat, and noticed her hands. Both palms were bloody and her one glove was irreplacably torn. 

With hardly a word between them, Ruby drove them down to a convenience store and used her emergency money to purchase band-aids, a bottle of water, and a small blue raspberry slushie (to prevent bruising). They couldn’t wash in the bathrooms because of Mrs. Song’s strict public bathroom policies, so to clean Sapphire’s wounds they went outside and Ruby poured the bottle of water over her hands. It was a far cry from romance — kneeling in the parking lot outside a 7-Eleven, dabbing her employer’s daughter’s scraped palms with paper napkins, the cuffs of Ruby’s suit dampened and cold. 

Fortunately, only Sapphire’s right hand had suffered topical damage, so Ruby ushered her quickly back into the car and pulled out of the parking lot. They were halfway home before Sapphire spoke for the first time:

“Rudy, stop the car.”

Insistent, but quiet. Ruby kept her eyes straight forward as they left town. 

“I’m taking you home,” she replied. 

“Rudy,” Sapphire repeated. “You’re still bleeding.”

As if she hadn’t noticed — well, she had, and Sapphire knew it. The blood from her left palm made it difficult to keep a grip on the steering wheel and Ruby knew she’d have a cleaning job later. But she didn’t have time to take care of herself, so she pretended she hadn’t heard a thing. 

“Rudy, I said stop the car.”

Ruby bit her lower lip. 

_ “Rudy.” _

Somehow, that made it enough. Ruby obeyed, pulled to the side by a lone streetlamp, and put the car in park. 

“That’s not my name,” she said shakily. “Bismuth helped me find a new one when I decided I was trans. I’m…Ruby.” 

She closed her eyes. At times like this, it was always best if she didn’t try to look anyone in the eye, even if Sapphire’s eyes weren’t available to meet. Ruby would probably still cry. She couldn’t understand why she had just admitted that — Lyre said all that needed to be said, and why would anyone care about the dream name she’d picked for herself? She couldn’t even remember to call herself it half the time… 

There was a click and a silence and Ruby opened her eyes to see Sapphire pulling the car key out of the ignition, dropping it into her purse, and placing her hand over Ruby’s.

“Ruby. Like the gemstone?”

Numbly, Ruby nodded.

“Like Sapphire.”

She nodded again. Even less enthusiastically now. 

Sapphire was quiet for a second, and her soft bare fingers shifted slowly over Ruby’s skin. Without the gloves, her hand was very cold from holding her slushie. 

“Thank you for telling me.”

“Are you mad?”

“There’s no reason to be,” Sapphire said, paused, and asked, “Who else knows?”

“Just my friend.”

“Benjamin?”

“B…Bismuth. Lyre kinda already outed her.”

“Your brothers don’t know?”

Ruby bit her lip and shook her head. “I mean, no, they don’t know. It’s simpler that way.”

“I understand.”

The truth lay out in the open, raw and newborn. Sapphire drew back her hand and took a sip of her slushie. 

“If I keep your secret,” she said, “will you keep mine?”

“Of course,” came Ruby’s automatic response, and the thought  _ how bad could it be? _

“Okay.” Sapphire inhaled deeply, slowly, and let it out at the same pace. “What you saw between me and Lyre…that’s my job. I’ve been doing it since I was younger, and it was always small things, like going to a friend’s house to sneak around in her father’s file cabinets. But whenever you take me to school events or friends’ houses…that’s my work. Today, I was covering up for one of my mother’s main income sources, an old wine counterfeiter whose business runs through our company, which Jacob discovered — I will admit, he is a financial genius.”

Ruby couldn’t figure out what to say except, “That’s your secret?”

“N…no. But it’s probably best if you don’t mention I told you that.” Sapphire bit her bottom lip, then shook her head. “My real secret is that when I turned eighteen last month, my mother decided…that it might be best to…put my body to work. This was my first assignment where it would be a pivotal factor. And it’s — it was — ”

She fell silent. This, for Ruby, was the moment when she knew something was really, really wrong. 

“You don’t have to tell me.”

“Ruby, this is serious. I have a job to do, but…men scare the shit out of me,” Sapphire cut in, and her voice wobbled. “I’m a lesbian.”

It would have been to date the first time Ruby had heard Sapphire swear. In all honesty, that fact was more shocking than Sapphire’s secret. Ruby didn’t know what to say to that. So she didn’t try. Sapphire was no longer looking at her now, instead rifled through her purse.

“Oh God, I’m so selfish,” Sapphire murmured. “Your hand.”

Ruby tried to protest, but before she could open her mouth, Sapphire shoved her slushie into Ruby’s uninjured right hand and pulled the left, turning Ruby to fully face her. “Stay still. I don’t think this blood is all yours, now that I see it. But there is a scrape.”

Her chilly fingertips brushed the raw skin and Ruby winced. 

“Sorry. This might hurt too.” Sapphire took a napkin, wet it with the water bottle, and pressed it against Ruby’s scrape. It did hurt, but Ruby was prepared for it now and just grit her teeth. She made herself focus on something else, and it happened to be Sapphire’s bare hand holding hers up. “You weren’t meant to be a casualty.”

“It’s just a scrape,” Ruby said, but Sapphire frowned. Once she put the bandaid over the wound, she sat back. 

“No. I failed to expect your courage, and now Lyre has a decent reason to out you to the world. I truly am sorry. I mean it.” 

And to Ruby’s surprise, she brushed aside her hair.

_ “Thank  _ you.”

Ruby inadvertently took a breath in, not from rudeness or anything, just surprise. Sapphire’s right eye was narrow like her family’s except in a vibrant, crystal blue, glittering in the light from the nearby streetlamp. Her left eye did not exist. Instead, her too-small eyelid seemed to be closed over nothing, and the skin around the area was white with scarring. 

“It’s bad,” Sapphire said and blinked her one eye hard. “But...what  _ don’t  _ you know about me anymore.”

Impulsively Ruby opened her mouth, but closed it again when she thought. “I…don’t know anything about you,” she said at last. “I thought I did, but…” But then this had happened. Sapphire was not who Ruby had thought she was — hell, Ruby wasn’t who Sapphire had thought she was either.

“But it’s like we’re strangers,” Sapphire finished. 

“Yeah.” Reflexively, like people do when holding a drink, Ruby lifted Sapphire’s slushie and then flushed from embarrassment. “Oh — sorry. Forgot it’s yours. Do you…still want it?” 

“You can have some. You didn’t eat anything.”

She had forgotten about that, but she didn’t eat when she was anxious anyway. Because Sapphire was staring at her, she took a sip of the frozen drink — and stiffened.

“Are you okay?” Sapphire asked. Ruby only managed to squeeze her eyes shut.

“Nnngh…brain freeze. Ugh.”

To Ruby’s surprise, Sapphire giggled, pulling her out of the brain freeze. Hesitantly she laughed too. 

“Fun fact,” Sapphire interjected, “the sensation you call ‘brain freeze’ is actually a bodily response that cuts off oxygen to the brain, so…every time you have an ice cream, you can also get a taste of death.”

Ruby had been planning something clever to say until that. She stared at Sapphire in abject horror. “That fact is not fun.”

That did it. And Sapphire didn’t just giggle now, she broke out laughing. It was like how Mom would laugh when Dad was alive, rich, full, belly laughter. She bent at the waist, shaking her head; she smiled enough that Ruby could see her tongue was blue from the slushie. Her eye scrunched up from smiling so wide. 

“Oh, Rudy — I’m sorry, Ruby. I do apologize; I’m not myself today. I suppose I’m just in shock. I thought by now I would be crying in the back of Jacob’s car, but instead I’m here with you, and I’m…” She trailed off and Ruby remembered.

“I’m supposed to get you home.”

“Home can wait.”

“What?”

“Ruby, I’m tired of lying about who I am, sometimes I just want to  _ live _ . Stay with me.”

She leaned forward and her uninjured hand rested on top of Ruby’s. If it had been any other time, any other place, the touch might have been overwhelming. But this girl wasn’t the ethereal, emotionless, intangible spirit from Ruby’s fantasies; this wasn’t who she had been infatuated with.

And she felt like that should be a bad thing but it wasn’t. It was like she had fallen in love with a picture before ever meeting the real girl. To think that Sapphire was anything but the perfect, untouchable heiress — that she would be lonely, deformed, closeted, scared, a pawn for her mother to sell and barter at will — to think that was relief in itself. Ruby wasn’t scared of this Sapphire. Now, she dared herself to ask.

“What do you mean?”

When looking back on it, Ruby realized Sapphire must have caught the furtive glance down to her plump lips. Because before Ruby knew it, Sapphire had undone her seat belt and leaned close enough to touch; Ruby could smell the last wisps of her perfume.

“Ruby,” Sapphire whispered. Ruby took a shallow breath in.

“Y…yes, ma’am?”

“May I kiss you?”

Ruby did not know what to say. 

Had a Ruby two hours ago known what Ruby heard now, she would not have believed it. A Ruby two hours ago would have thought it unfathomable to touch Sapphire, the porcelain doll, the crystal statue who would break if someone so much as looked at her with desire. 

But Ruby was not that Ruby anymore. And Sapphire was not that Sapphire. So Ruby said yes by leaning closer.

It wouldn’t be her first kiss, there had been the chimney-sweep when she was younger, but certainly the first that meant anything. Couldn’t be Sapphire’s first either. Something very experienced led Sapphire’s bandaged hand up to Ruby’s cheek, slid it behind her head, and pulled the willing Ruby gently closer.

She tasted like the slushie. Ruby broke contact as soon as she thought that — a moment-long kiss had to be enough, she had no right to Sapphire’s mouth. Yet she was lying to herself. A moment wasn’t enough, and Sapphire hadn’t pulled away. The second time, they crashed together. It was too exciting now, almost sloppy; they bumped teeth as Ruby craned her head for a better angle. Sapphire cupped Ruby’s cheeks in her small hands, Ruby’s fingers were tangled up in Sapphire’s hair. 

Despite the armrests and stick shift in between their two seats, Sapphire was almost climbing into Ruby’s lap. “Let’s take this to the back,” she suggested, tracing Ruby’s jaw. Just the idea made Ruby’s head spin, but no logic and discipline couldn’t stop her from nodding. 

She recognized two things while she stepped into the hot night breeze, that she had parked unfortunately in a middle-class residential area and that Sapphire was watching her as she circled around the front to help her out. The petite young woman climbed into the backseat with confidence, pulling off her high heels and drawing her legs up onto the seat, the puffy skirt rumpling underneath her. In the dim light, her cheeks were flushed. When Ruby sat next to her, she leaned in and began to run her hands down Ruby’s sides — oh, by now, the strained fabric of her pants couldn’t make her case more obvious.

“Ma’am, I don’t think I have the right to do this,” she said feebly. Sapphire pulled away at once, but looked at her in confusion. 

“I…thought this was what you wanted. Do you want to stop?”

“I don’t know. I just…anyone could look in and see us…”

Sapphire nodded, but said nothing. 

“And…we need to get home…”

She still didn’t reply. 

“And your mother. If she finds out, I’m dead.”

Sapphire bit her bottom lip. Her teeth and mouth were still slightly blue. “If my mother finds out, we’re both dead,” she explained. “We can tell her the car ran out of gas and we had to push to the nearest station.”

That was well and good, but Ruby still wasn’t settled. She couldn’t pinpoint why until she asked herself and it occurred to her —  _ why.  _

“Why?” she asked, then elaborated. “Why are you letting me do this?” 

For a while Sapphire didn’t respond. Then she closed her eye. “I failed my assignment,” she stated. “It was my last chance to prove myself as an asset to the Song legacy. After I graduate next month, I can’t go to college, I won’t get a job of my own, I’ll never be able to fall in love with another woman. Instead, I will be taken back to South Korea and married to a wealthy man for financial gain. Ruby, this might be my last chance to speak with someone I’m happy with, and it will be my fault.”

“Your fault?!” Ruby recoiled in disbelief. “Sapphire, there’s — I — it’s not your fault that you — didn’t — ” God, this was hard to say “ — that you didn’t wanna have sex with that asshole! If you’d gone along with it, he could’ve really hurt you. You gotta talk to Miz Song. I mean, your mother. You have to tell her that it wasn’t safe.”

Sapphire looked up again, her eye wide and glassy. Then her mouth quirked up. “That’s why.”

“Huh?”

Sapphire hesitated. “I’ve never heard anything like that before. Like how you talk about me. I don’t know how to say it. I feel as if there’s a word for it. But…it’s nice.”

If Ruby wasn’t so dark skinned, she suspected she would have been very red. Sapphire was leaning in again, brushing her hair away from her good eye, and now nothing stood between them. 

Then they both said “Thank you” at the same time with differing tones, Ruby impulsively and Sapphire quietly, and the situation was too awkward to not laugh a little. 

“I said it first,” Ruby dared to tease. Sapphire snickered.

“No way. We said it at the same time.”

“Let’s try again,” suggested Ruby, “we both think of a noun that’s in the car and we say it at the same time. If it’s the same thing at the same time, double points.” It was a game Mom used to have Ruby and the other triplets play while they were doing chores together — sometimes they would come out with very different things, other times all three would have the same one. 

“Challenge accepted,” said Sapphire. She looked up as she thought of her thing, then met Ruby’s eyes again. “I’m ready.”

“Right. On the count of three. One, two, three.”

At the same time, Ruby said “slushie” and Sapphire said “you’re cute.” Quite predictably, Ruby forgot how to speak before she could even correct Sapphire’s misinterpretation of the rules.

“Well, you  _ are.”  _ Sapphire smiled and leaned forward. “I like that.”

“M…me too,” was all Ruby could get out, making Sapphire giggle before she tilted Ruby’s chin up and kissed her. 

Ruby had told herself not to get her hopes up. Most likely, they would kiss for a few minutes and then go home; she didn’t want to make anything confusing by asking what the plans were, if there were any, which there didn’t seem to be. But Sapphire was unexpectedly firm. Every movement invited more that Ruby couldn’t help but snatch up. When Sapphire tentatively licked Ruby’s lips, Ruby opened her mouth and let Sapphire’s tongue push in, drawing out inadvertent moans; when Ruby put her hands in the small of Sapphire’s back, Sapphire climbed into Ruby’s lap and pressed into her as they kissed.

When Sapphire reached back to undo the buttons of her dress, Ruby helped her, and Sapphire reminded her not to make any marks.

“Not a word,” she said like a mantra. “Not a trace.”

“Not a word,” Ruby repeated, then added a tiny, inadvertent “oh fuck” as Sapphire pulled down her bodice and bared her ample breasts. Sapphire kissed her again, longer and harder and tighter, and sighed when Ruby ran her thumbs over her nipples.

Ruby’s glasses went. There was no rule that they had to, Sapphire explained, but even while just kissing they turned out to be a pain. It did mean Ruby was helpless as she was rather nearsighted, but Sapphire already took the lead role and Ruby needed only to follow. There were other rules and they covered them like bullet points — full consent from both members, a clear description of what they planned to do (in Ruby’s mind, “you fucking me” couldn’t be any clearer), an agreement to take it slow and with a lot of communication for Ruby’s first time, and talk of condoms, despite neither having any.

“We’ll be fine,” Sapphire explained, “I finished my period two days ago. I won’t be fertile for at least a week.”

It was all very clumsy and even a little embarrassing, especially as Sapphire helped Ruby undress. Now Ruby couldn’t hide how much she sweat when nervous. Sapphire didn’t say anything, however, and it’s hard to be self-conscious with a distractingly sexy girl straddling your tummy and making out with you. After a question and an emphatic nod, Ruby was inside Sapphire, rocking her hips for friction as Sapphire rode her. 

Sapphire talked to her the whole time. With every new motion, she would use that sultry voice and ask Ruby if she was okay and what she wanted, but often she was too breathless to reply beyond a nod. Eventually, Sapphire’s commentary also melted into hissed explicits and throaty moans.

Awkward, too fast, not enough. Too soon Ruby cried out in a rush, and after it was over, Sapphire was careful to ease away so as not to hurt or overstimulate her. Sapphire didn’t come and expressed that it was fine, but the first time she tried to settle down, Ruby noticed that she still seemed uncomfortable. “Just tell me how,” Ruby told her. Which was how Ruby ended up with Sapphire’s thick thighs spread over her face. When Sapphire finally came, it was shaking, trembling, and while crying Ruby’s name.

It was impulsive, it wasn’t perfect, and it was exhilarating. 

Once it was over, Ruby was too tired to move a muscle. So she didn’t. Sapphire, small boned and feather-light, curled up catlike on Ruby’s chest, pressing slow kisses around her face. She wasn’t just pretty anymore, she was beautiful — hair a mess, lipstick all but rubbed off onto Ruby’s neck, fingers intertwined with hers, skin shining from the hot night and the hot love. She still wore her silver bracelet.

“Thank you,” Ruby said, kissing her soft and sweet. Sapphire said nothing, only lay her head on Ruby’s chest. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so anyway


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was not supposed to be 17 pages rip

In the span of the last six months, Sapphire Song could count having sex with two unaffiliated people — a new record from her previous zero. The first was her classmate, an adorable blonde from France who hadn’t the faintest idea she was gay until Sapphire put her tongue in her mouth. Her night with Amélie was more of a joint study session that got out of hand, and like the sex-obsessed teens they were, they’d conducted the exchange in a bathroom while Sapphire’s bodyguards roamed the school in a lost cause search for a nonexistent student.

 _I must have a thing for spur-of-the-moment sexual encounters_ , remarked Sapphire. She couldn’t take her eyes from her second partner.

Rudy — God damn it — Ruby almost fell asleep in the afterglow, which would have been disastrous, and shook himself — _oops_ _—_ herself back into consciousness only as Sapphire began to kiss her again. It felt natural. She couldn’t explain why, but it was also nice, especially with Ruby’s warm gaze fixed on her face.

“Thank you,” Ruby rasped, caressing Sapphire’s cheek. She kissed her, slowly, remarkably chastely in comparison to what they had just done.

_Oh, God, what have I done?_

Her silence must have come off as indifference because, even as she lay her head on Ruby’s chest, Ruby didn’t kiss her anymore. “W…we should go back,” Ruby suggested. Reluctant to move, Sapphire nestled closer into Ruby. She was warm. Distractingly so.

“We can stay a minute. We’ll be fine.”

“No.”

A forceful “no”. Very unlike the demure disagreements from most of her mother’s staff. Sapphire looked up and saw raw determination in Ruby’s face, if not for a second, before disappearing with averted eyes.

“I can’t do that, ma’am. I’ve already broken the code enough as it is, I mean — oh God, I just slept with you, I might as well have _burned_ the code, what will Miz Song say…”

Clearly, she was on the verge of a nervous breakdown. Sapphire didn’t know what else to do, so she sat up awkwardly, slid onto the seat, and busied her free hand by finding her clothing. “Nothing. She won’t know. What we did stays here, between us. Promise.”

Ruby’s bandaged hand, still tangled with Sapphire’s, trembled. But she nodded.

After their hands broke contact, they didn’t touch again. Not for fun at least. Sapphire put on her petticoats and gown by herself except for the buttons, almost too much in itself. Ruby’s rough fingers, brushing the vulnerable skin of her back, tempted a round two that Sapphire knew they wouldn’t get.

It was Amélie all over again. Sapphire had never sunk far, certainly never fallen in _love,_ but she knew if she wasn’t careful she was susceptible to overcomplicated attachments. She’d get addicted. She would grow close to someone for a moment, as small as a minute, then she would remember her duties and sever the ties, and she would think and think and think. She would think of what she did wrong, what she could have done better, what she would have done if her fate was her own. But it never was.

She would do her hair herself, she would keep her gaze hidden as she helped Ruby into her suit; she would lean out the door and scrub her hands of Ruby’s scent; she would wish her good eye was on the other side as Ruby drove home and Sapphire was left only to look at the streetlights. They kept the windows down to air out the car.

“Not a word,” Sapphire whispered.

“Not a trace,” Ruby replied. Sapphire stole a glance at her strong jaw, her cute little nose, her dorky glasses, then looked forward again.

“I’ll assume you would like me to use your birth name in public.”

“Y…yes, ma’am.”

“Okay. Don’t tell my mother.”

“Don’t tell her what?”

Sapphire hesitated as she thought, then said, “Anything.”

Ruby gave a small, shy laugh before returning to her shell. “What if she asks?”

“We stopped at the convenience store for bandages and tried to go straight home from there, but ran out of gas in the country stretch and had to push to the nearest station. We didn’t speak after or during that. I’ll tell her the details, all you have to do is testify and we should be fine.”

“Are you going to tell her…’bout what Lyre said? About me?”

“I have to be completely honest about the attack,” Sapphire explained. “My mother will be expecting a word-for-word account, which will be used in any official trials that may come out of this. Fortunately, you never agreed to what Lyre said, so I’ll tell my mother that when he said you were transgender, it was a simple, childish insult.”

“Oh. Okay.” Ruby went quiet. Sapphire expected the conversation to end then, but Ruby surprised her — she would continue to do so, Sapphire would come to learn.  “Um…Sapphire?”

“Yes?”

“Would you, um, think it’s a good idea…to tell my mom? Not about, um, what we did, but…that I’m a girl.”

It was Sapphire’s turn to go silent. If she was honest, she didn’t know. She knew she wouldn’t tell her own mother such a thing. But, be it from generations of servant-breeding or their religious heritage, Corundum children were brutally honest. Sapphire was surprised that Ruby had stayed in the closet for so long.

“I think that’s a decision you need to make, not I,” she responded. “I don’t know your mother.”

Ruby contemplated this, then nodded. “I’m gonna tell her,” she said as she pulled the car up to the first gate of the Song mansion. A terse, professional exchange with the security guard later, Ruby parked in the garage and hastened Sapphire out of the car. But instead of waiting for Ruby to lead her out of the garage and into the main house, Sapphire waited for the last second, when Ruby reached for the door, before tugging at her sleeve.

“Wait. You have something on your lips.”

She didn’t think about it; well, maybe she did a little, as she knew the security camera never pointed towards this door. But for a second, Sapphire didn’t care for secrecy. To hell with it if someone saw. When Ruby turned, Sapphire took her by the lapels of her suit and kissed her with everything she had. There wasn’t time or foreplay enough to do anything fancy, nothing more than hard, breathless pressure. And like that it was over.

“It was me,” Sapphire whispered as she drew away, and then said, softer still, “Thank you, Ruby. This night was…wonderful.”

Her bodyguard’s eyes were wide. As if they hadn’t just spent a half hour fucking the daylights out of each other, Sapphire mused dryly. She did love crude thoughts. Beyond the door, faraway footsteps scuffed on the gravel sidewalk to the garage. She pulled away, or tried, as Ruby’s hands didn’t leave her waist.

“Sapphire…” Ruby gasped once.

The tables turned. To Sapphire’s surprise, Ruby spun her around, swept her up into her arms, and kissed her feverishly. The effect was electrifying. Sapphire could hear the footsteps, the worried voices growing louder, yet all she wanted was for Ruby to draw her closer. For Ruby to be hers, and for her to be Ruby’s. She could distinguish words now, a few guards or servants at the very least. Without breaking the kiss, Sapphire put her feet back on the ground. They were so close. Ten, perhaps five seconds away from being caught. Sapphire’s heart was beating like a hammer and she knew Ruby’s was too; she could feel it as she drew back and ran her hand idly down Ruby’s chest, she saw it as she met Ruby’s gaze.

They let go. Sapphire hurriedly pulled her hair over her eye and pushed past Ruby towards the door. The voices were near, nearer, here; Sapphire strode out of the garage and faced the two bewildered servants who stopped in their tracks.

“Tell my mother I’m home,” she said.

.

The debriefing went fine — if not nerve-wracking, but that was to be expected. Mother was disappointed. Or, at least, Sapphire thought she was; rarely did Mother allow Sapphire to see past the widow’s veil that she wore despite remarrying. But even when Sapphire relayed how Ruby had danced with her and later fought Jacob Lyre, Mother didn’t react. Never a good sign.

“It was my error,” Sapphire added hurriedly in Korean, as Ruby and some servants were still in the room. “I failed in reducing the witnesses and my bodyguard was only acting according to his training. I do not predict that his knowledge of our transactions will cause us any harm; in fact, I have reason to believe he may be an asset to future assignments.”

This was, of course, making the grand assumption that she would have future assignments. Which was a dire hope. Mother inclined her chin.

“How so?” she asked. A test. Sapphire paused to compose herself.

“As you know, this boy in particular has been of special use to my safety at the academy, as he is the only one able to keep up with my advanced classes. His intelligence, resourcefulness, and loyalty can be...redirected. Perhaps someday he might act as a more advanced confidant.”

“And what gave you the idea,” Mother cut in, “that there _will_ be future assignments?”

There it was. Sapphire wasn’t even surprised. “Only my faith in your mercy, Mother.”

“Hmm. We shall see.” Which meant no. And that the conversation was over.

Mother dismissed Sapphire and Ruby from her office, Sapphire to her room and Ruby to the dance to get her brothers. Ruby’s punishment was a night without dinner and three days’ work polishing the household’s silver. Sapphire’s punishment was undecided. Legal action was to be taken against Jacob Lyre for assaulting Sapphire, which had been the plan B all along, but it wasn’t a favorable one. Since Ruby had pissed him off, there was now a greater chance that Lyre would leak the Songs’ secrets. He had nothing to lose. That was dangerous. And it was a failed mission.

Sapphire’s nursemaid, also Ruby’s aunt, whisked Sapphire to her room and began to fuss. Only to be expected — all the poor woman knew was that her mistress had been attacked by a boy at prom, of course she would worry. She fluttered. “Oh, Sapphire, your hand,” she murmured as she peeled away the band-aids. “And your lovely dress...I’ll patch both up for you. My sister’s reckless boy, he don’t understand a thing about cleanin’ wounds. Or bein’ careful at all for that matter.”

 _I have an impressive lack of hickeys that will prove otherwise,_ thought Sapphire, and flushed as she remembered Ruby’s tentative kisses. _Not a mark._

“Amber, I’m fine,” she said aloud. “My hand will heal. And it’s just a dress.”

“Oh. Yes, absolutely, Miss Sapphire. At least you’re safe,” replied Amber with a smile. “It’s all over now.”

It wasn’t. Lyre would tell his parents and Mother would have to do extra work in covering up the leaked business records. Sapphire would be sent to a “homeland” she’d never seen, married to a man she’d never met, bear his children against her will, and lose all chance of her own future. Even then…it wasn’t all. Something was missing. She couldn’t place what, but something made her stomach twist up and her skin prickle with cold.

And as Sapphire sat silent in her steaming bath, hugging her legs to her chest, she shivered. Something had been missed. It felt, if she could say, like she had fallen into a Wonderland, but woken up and could not remember what she had seen. What she had felt.

It had been warm, addictingly so.

.

The next month came and went like a blur. Sapphire watched every day.

She took her senior exams at the end of May, though she didn’t have to — probably no college for her. There was no direct word from Mother on marriage. Of course there wouldn’t be. You always had to work around Mother, predict her moves, like a game of chess. Even in the rising legal battles against Lyre, Inc., Mother used her oldest son Kyanite to gather information, not Sapphire, though Sapphire was infinitely more capable. According to an errand girl, Mother had ordered for a special dress fitting. No specifications as for whom. After she got her report card back, Sapphire told Mother at dinner that she had nearly perfect scores in all subjects. Mother said only, “Very good, Sapphire.”

On Sapphire’s way to her bedroom she passed by Ruby, who stole a glance at her before tearing her eyes away. She held three envelopes with open flaps and was trotting. The Corundum kids liked to trot — an admittedly adorable habit, albeit necessary, as their short legs made it difficult for them to walk anywhere quickly. Ruby, clearly anxious, had begun to trot minutely faster.

They hadn’t spoken much after the prom. “Much” meaning about anything beyond their jobs and school. Though they hadn’t touched, Sapphire knew it was painfully clear how often she chose Ruby to take on tasks or to places that only required one bodyguard. She’d even heard Randall and Richard teasing their triplet about what a liking Sapphire had taken towards her — nothing new; she knew full well how the triplets teased each other about winning Sapphire’s favor. But she couldn’t stop. As dangerous as it was to fraternize with the person who held all her worst secrets, she couldn’t pull away. She asked Ruby for help studying during exams. She watched Ruby from the backseat, adoring how she bit her lip when making decisions.

She stopped and put her hand on Ruby’s shoulder. “Where are you going?”

Ruby turned to her, deep brown eyes wide. “Ma’am?” she asked, bewildered.

“I want to know where you are going, and what those envelopes are,” Sapphire said. Under her hand, Ruby relaxed minutely.

“Oh. Th — they’re just my brothers’ and my report cards, ma’am, from the school. Like yours, but…uh…not.”

Sapphire suppressed a laugh. “That does make sense. I don’t suppose you’re taking them to your mother.”

“I…suppose I am, actually.”

“Well, best not keep her waiting,” said Sapphire crisply, and followed Ruby down the hall.

Ruby took her to the kitchens, which, an hour after dinner, was almost vacant. The only employee present was a tall, wideset black woman at the sinks, her hair tied in a handkerchief, her sleeves rolled up, her arms elbow-deep in soapsuds. Her eyes widened when she saw Sapphire.

“Miss Sapphire! What are…” Then her gaze locked on Ruby, and the shock turned to an absolute thunderstorm of righteous anger. “Rudyard Colin Corundum, what in God’s name made you think to bring her down here? So sorry, Miss Sapphire, I don’t know why — ”

Sapphire shook her head. “I accept your apology, Mrs. Corundum, but I followed your son.”

“Daughter,” Ruby blurted, then shrank when both Sapphire and Mrs. Corundum looked at her. “I…um. I told both of you. I think. I did, right?”

 _Oh Lord, she’s so cute,_ slipped past Sapphire’s mental filter. “You might have told me once or twice,” she said instead.

“Ruby and I _may_ have had an hour-long discussion while peeling potatoes,” said Mrs. Corundum, wiping her hands with a towel before folding her brawny arms. Sapphire smiled wryly.

“That is how it goes. That said — I never had the opportunity to thank you, Mrs. Corundum. Ruby showed great courage in protecting me during the dance a few weeks ago, and for that I owe you my gratitude. You’ve raised such an honorable and intelligent young woman.”

Mrs. Corundum beamed, clearly surprised. “Oh, well…why, thank you, ma’am. Ruby, what do you say?”

“Thank you, ma’am,” echoed Ruby like a young child. She fiddled with the open manila envelopes and Sapphire remembered.

“No, thank _you,”_ she insisted. “But — that reminds me, Mrs. Corundum — I have something else to tell you, but Ruby has something to give you as well.”

“Our report cards.” Ruby held out the envelopes to her mother. “I — I already asked Ricky and Randy to hurry on their chores so we can talk about them ‘fore we go to bed.”

Mrs. Corundum took them. “That it?”

Ruby nodded vigorously. “Yes’m.”

“Well, then you’d better make yourself useful. Go!”

“Yes MA’AM!” said Ruby a little louder and trotted out of the kitchen, arms stiff at her sides. Mrs. Corundum chuckled to herself.

“She certainly loves her job,” Sapphire remarked. Ruby’s mother looked at her with something akin to regret, but as soon as Sapphire caught it, she blinked and it was gone.

“Did you have something to ask me, Miss Sapphire?”

“Yes...yes, I did.” She used the time to survey Mrs. Corundum — oh, now Sapphire wished she had gone along and asked if anything was wrong; she was curious why Mrs. Corundum seemed so ruffled. But oh well. “As you know, all mail sent to this house is inspected and the contents discussed with my mother.”

Mrs. Corundum didn’t openly protest it, but it was clear she had her own opinions. Just another reminder that the servants’ lives were not their own. “Yes, I know.”

“Well, for matters pertaining to myself and your sons — and, and daughter, I am often consulted as well. I read your children’s report cards this afternoon.”

“Was there something wrong?”

“Actually…no. I wanted to tell you that Ruby graduated with a perfect 4.0 GPA, which is incredibly hard to achieve at our school. If we had attended the graduation ceremony, she could have given a speech as the class salutatorian.”

Mrs. Corundum was quiet before she said, “Is that bad?”

“Well, depends on how you look at it. It means Ruby received the second-highest grades in her class, and the only reason she wasn’t first was because our valedictorian had special honors. But because of her high class ranking, her report card originally came attached to a letter from Princeton University.”

Clearly, Mrs. Corundum knew what that meant. “I...what? What did it say?”

“I don’t remember the details,” Sapphire confessed, “but apparently, our school sends out letters of recommendation to all Ivy League schools about their top ten students, and Princeton recognized that Ruby had not applied for any colleges yet. Since your family has not set aside any college money and falls below the poverty line, Princeton offered a full ride scholarship.”

“We didn’t expect him — I, I mean, we didn’t expect her to go,” Mrs. Corundum stammered. Wide-eyed, she leaned against the counter to stabilize herself.

“You weren’t supposed to. I didn’t either. I expected she would come with me to whatever school my mother recommended, but my enrollment has been cancelled as well. My mother threw away Princeton’s letter, I couldn’t stop her — I just thought you would like to know.”

Mrs. Corundum was silent, staring at the floor. Suddenly Sapphire realized how risky this was — telling one of her mother’s most defiant, fiery servants that she had deliberately ripped up thousands of dollars from an Ivy League school, just to keep an underpaying job position filled. It was true. But also dangerous.

Sapphire knew that the Songs were having trouble keeping their workers under their full control, especially after the civil rights’ movements in the 1950’s brought so much more awareness to the treatment of black workers. Which was why servants were forced to live on the mansion’s grounds, separate from the outside world. Why they often married other house servants, dooming their children as well. Why Mrs. Corundum barely knew how to read. Why Sapphire’s mother had burned Princeton’s letter. The system was ideologically skeevy, and Sapphire knew, but she couldn’t help but fear what would happen if she endangered it. If Mrs. Corundum began to wonder if her treatment was unjust. If Mrs. Song traced it back to Sapphire.

“I’m sure my mother will provide compensation,” she added hastily, but that was a lie. Shit. She was just making everything worse, it was probably better to leave while she could…

“Sapphire, wait.”

She did not want to wait. But she did. She looked Mrs. Corundum in the eye (despite the fact that Mrs. Corundum could not return it) and folded her hands in front of her. “You’re worried.”

“I — yes, I am.” Ruby’s mother bit her bottom lip — a trait she shared with her daughter — then exhaled. “I talked with Amber — my sister, your nursemaid. She said you’ve been sick.”

“I’m fine,” replied Sapphire, but Mrs. Corundum didn’t buy it.

“She said you’ve been tired. And you don’t wanna eat sometimes, and sometimes you’re real hot at night and kick off your blankets. And that it’s been going on about a month now, after my daughter took you home alone. Is that right?”

She was right. “It happens before exams,” she said, “since stress weakens the immune system, everyone gets a flu during exam week — ”

“When did you have your last period?”

Sapphire’s breath hitched. _Oh._ She had not wanted to think about that. She had bled once since her last, but it had been just a little spotting, and weeks ago. “April seventeenth,” she replied. Today was the third of June.

In that moment, both women knew exactly what each of them had been denying, refusing to think about. Sapphire had felt the pressure in her body, the fevers, the nausea, even the guilt of what she’d done and that had been enough. Mrs. Corundum had seen the forgotten lipstick marks on Ruby’s neck, how Sapphire couldn’t look away from Ruby, and that had been enough. But, at the same time, it wasn’t enough. They hadn’t thought about it. They had pushed it back and written it off and it wasn’t like there was ever a _just in time,_ but Sapphire couldn’t help but feel that now it was too late.

Her eye stung. Before she could think to why, a tear ran down her cheek. For the first time in years, Sapphire cried, and Ruby’s mother wrapped her in a warm, silent embrace.

.

They found what they already knew two days later, confirmed with a positive pregnancy test. Mrs. Corundum had bought the kit on her own, claiming it was for herself, and left it in Sapphire’s room while bringing up her morning tea. By that afternoon it was settled.

Sapphire was a mother. She was also, in some way, doomed.

That night, she tossed and turned for hours, twisting herself in her silk covers before unraveling and starting over on the other side. The worries swarmed. She didn’t think she had it in her to get rid of the child — even if she had, she wasn’t allowed to leave the mansion alone. She wanted to think her mother would, at the very best, not care about the child, but that was as impossible as hiding it from her. Sapphire was a business transaction. If her arranged husband found out that she was already pregnant, he would cancel the deal. Mother would do God knew what. She would certainly punish Sapphire, perhaps kick her out. And certainly, she would want to know who was the father…

_God. What will Ruby think?_

She had a right to know, Sapphire decided (she squinted through the darkness at the clock on her wall — 4:40). It was Ruby’s child too. And Mother was going to find out eventually...and as Sapphire liked to say, it was always nice to be warned about an unpleasant surprise. It would still be unpleasant. But at least it wouldn’t be a surprise.

Yes, she concluded just as lavender light peeked over her windowsill. She would tell Ruby.

And she almost kept that promise, just almost.

The next day, she woke up very late and to Amber throwing an airy blue sundress at her. Mother had a lunch engagement with a “special someone” and Sapphire was the main event. Even without knowing who it was, Sapphire already felt nauseous. Meeting with her bodyguards to be escorted down made her feel worse — it hurt, knowing that Ruby would see the whole thing. If it was what she thought.

Her hunch was correct. He was a Korean man who looked to be in his early thirties, tall and lean, clad in a finely tailored navy suit. Polite enough when he bowed to Sapphire and greeted her in monotone, but didn’t speak to her afterwards. A man of money, interested only in the transaction. His parents were there as well, according to tradition, but he did most of the talking, and he was the one to present the diamond ring and slip it onto the fourth finger of Sapphire’s left hand.

And Sapphire couldn’t help it — there in the garden, in front of her mother, her stepfather, her fiancé, her future in-laws, the servants, and her three silent bodyguards — she cried again.

Her mother had sent her away immediately, claiming Sapphire was “just a delicate girl, she has been very emotional about this marriage proposal, it’s simply too much for her to handle at this time” but she didn’t follow her. She left it to the three Corundum kids, which was no better. Every time Sapphire looked at Ruby, she broke down again.

“Great, Rudes,” she heard Randy say, “you’re makin’ her sadder. What’d you do?”

“Shut up,” Ruby muttered back.

When they reached Sapphire’s room, the three turned to go, but Sapphire told them to wait. “You…you dropped something the other day,” she said to Ruby, and ducked into her bedroom. Out of sight, she took a pen and a small piece of paper from her desk and scribbled this:

_Ruby,_

_I need to talk to you. Meet me at 11 p.m. outside the garage, on the dark side. Avoid crossing in front of the garden pavilion or coming too near to the house, there are cameras. Avoid all light sources. Do not bring a flashlight. Wear dark clothing. As soon as you are able, eat this note. It is flavored like cotton candy and is safe to digest._

_Do not get caught. If you are, deny everything._

She didn’t sign it; Ruby knew her handwriting, and there was also the risk that it would be found. Hands shaking, Sapphire folded the note, leaned out of her door, and handed it to Ruby.

“Don’t drop it again,” she warned her, hoping she got the message. The realization in Ruby’s eyes told her that she did.

After her fiancé and his family left, Mother refused to speak to her. She didn’t invite Sapphire down to dinner, instead sending a platter up with Amber. Sapphire wasn’t hungry. She almost told her nursemaid why, but stopped, reminding herself that a secret was safest when very few people knew.

It did no good. It appeared that Amber already knew.

“It’s gonna be alright,” she whispered. Amber stroked Sapphire’s hair as Sapphire curled in bed, blankets bundled around her. “We can just explain to Miz Song. I’ll take the baby, I always wanted kids. And I’ll get Rudyard t’change the diapers,” she added mischievously. Despite herself, Sapphire smiled.

“I don’t know what my mother will say. But…thank you, Amber.”

As Amber left, Sapphire acted like she was going to sleep, slipping into her nightgown and turning off her lights and everything. Once she was alone she took a watch, a flashlight, and a book, and read under her covers.

10:30 came. Then, she moved.

First she changed into a dark blue dress, much preferable to her clean white nightgown, which would show up like a beacon in the dark of night. She left by way of her bathroom window, using the gaps in the old stone to climb down the two stories. Her mother’s bedroom light was still on. Likely fighting with her new husband, Sapphire mused humorlessly, and probably about the destructive two-year-old daughter he had brought with him. That was the only reason she ever stayed awake past nine. Very low chance of her checking Sapphire’s room.

She continued into the yard, towards the low, long outbuilding of the garage. Above her, a mostly-full moon watched. But no one else saw as she crossed the open lawn, ducked behind the garage (on the dark side), and slumped down into the grass as she leaned against the wall.

Her breaths came short and hard. Which they shouldn’t have, as Sapphire was in excellent shape and routinely did scary secret things. Trembling from fatigue, she set her hand on her still-flat abdomen.

 _This is probably your fault,_ she told the child.

She checked her watch — 10:42. Across the yard, in the servants’ outbuildings, all was dark. Nothing to see.

Then there was, something was moving quite rapidly towards her, something shaped like a short and stout bodyguard.

Ruby made a beeline all the way from the servants’ outbuildings to the garage, stopping only when she had reached the deep shadow behind the garage and could breathe again. Panting, she bent over and balanced her hands on her knees. _Silly Ruby_ , Sapphire mused to herself. Grateful for company, she stood up.

And Ruby jumped like a loose spring.

“What the hell _who are — ”_

 _“Ruby._ It’s me, Sapphire,” she hissed. Damn it, Ruby wasn’t very covert about being startled. “Keep your voice down.”

“I — Sapphire?” Ruby’s shadow reached slowly out to her, and Sapphire met her searching fingertips with her own palm. Their hands clasped together, one of Ruby’s in both of Sapphire’s. “I came out early,” said Ruby, “so that you wouldn’t have to wait.”

“I don’t mind waiting so much,” replied Sapphire. “I came out early so you wouldn’t be alone.”

Ruby’s eyes had not yet adjusted to the darkness, so Sapphire took Ruby’s other hand and guided it up to her face. To Sapphire’s surprise, Ruby jerked back.

“Y…you’re engaged. Are you, are you sure, I don’t want to seem like you need to take care of me…”

Sapphire nodded. “It’s fine. Unless you’re uncomfortable, then I’ll stop.”

“But, your marriage, you don’t…?”

“If I’m completely honest,” she deadpanned, “I don’t even remember my fiancé’s name.”

“Oh,” was all Ruby said, frowning. Sapphire forced a small smile and sunk down to the ground again, where Ruby joined her.

“How are you?”

It was a simple question, but not. She wasn’t supposed to ask it of her bodyguards — yet here she was, tracing shapes across the back of Ruby’s hand. “Good,” Ruby replied hesitantly, “my mom bought me a dress today.”

She was surprised, but that was nice. Certainly a preferable conversation. “Ooh, what’s it like?”

“Well…it’s red. My favorite color. It’s a rose pattern, and real light and thin like your sundresses. And — and it’s kinda long, and goes down below my knees, and it’s got this little yellow belt around the waist, an’ — and these little shiny buttons! And puffy sleeves. I keep tellin’ Mom I’ll do extra work because it looks real expensive, an’ I can’t wear it in public, you know, but she says it was from some money that was set aside for me anyway.”

The dress was bought, in fact, with the Princeton compensation. Mother wasn’t likely to give Ruby or Mrs. Corundum anything in exchange for the college money, so Sapphire had dug up some of her personal allowance and told Mrs. Corundum to spend it on Ruby. She wouldn’t tell Ruby that, though. It didn’t feel like the place.

“I’d like to see you wear it,” Sapphire said instead. “Maybe tomorrow night?”

“What about it?”

“When I see you again. I can sneak into your bedroom, and you can put on your dress.”

She layered her voice with whatever she knew of flirtiness and wiggled her eyebrows. Clearly flustered, Ruby laughed. “I dunno. Randy’s a light sleeper. Us three share a room, you know,” she added.

“Oh.” Sapphire had not known that. “Maybe...you can sneak into my room. You’re a good climber, right?”

“Not really. Do you remember the one time in gym last year, with the rock wall — ”

“And you got tangled in the harness, flipped upside down, and started screaming like my stepsister.”

“I might have panicked,” Ruby admitted sheepishly.

Sapphire chuckled. “You definitely panicked.”

“Heh…yeah.”

“And when you got down you wouldn’t let me try it. You said it was ‘against the rules’ to put me in a position where I could ‘potentially be frightened to the point of death’.”

“But you did it anyway.” Ruby flipped her hand over, letting Sapphire’s fingers settle between her own. “And Ricky went with you just in case, and he helped you reach the ceiling, and I thought he was yours for sure.”

“Well, I didn’t need him,” Sapphire shrugged. “How do you think I get in and out of my window?”

“Oh.”

She cracked a smile. “In dresses, too. It’s pretty frightening, Ruby.”

“Y…yeah. I bet.”

The conversation paused, and then Ruby changed the track.

“You were right. About the notepaper tasting like cotton candy.”

“It’s special,” explained Sapphire. “To pass secret things. I actually never used it for its intended purpose before now.”

“Have you ever…?”

“Tasted it?”

Sapphire knew that her ability to finish sentences often frightened friends, but Ruby had hesitated and Sapphire wasn’t able to help herself.

“Yes,” she admitted, “when I was younger and Mother brought me to those awful, boring business conferences, I would bring the notepad and eat the paper. She caught me once, but strangely enough, we never had a talk about it. I think she wanted to forget it as soon as possible.”

Clearly trying to suppress a laugh, Ruby leaned against the wall and put her hand over her mouth before giving in. “Oh gosh, Sapphire, that’s actually really great,” she said. “I mean — I just, I guess — never mind.”

“Oh, no, go ahead.”

“I forgot what I said.”

“You don’t forget many things, Ruby.”

“I forget _everything_ , Sapphire.”

“Who wrote the Federalist Papers, how many were there, and what did they say?”

“James Madison, John Jay, and Alexander Hamilton; there were eighty-five essays, mostly written by Hamilton; and they explained and defended a federal constitution that would erect an organized federal system over the existing states’ weak confederacy…” Her voice got higher and quieter as she went on until it faded out entirely.

Sapphire took a second to absorb this before leaning forward, tapping Ruby on her flat little nose, and saying, “I have no idea if that’s right, but if it is, you just remembered _that.”_

Ruby didn’t blush, but her hand, clasped in Sapphire’s, shifted minutely. Her body language was so clear, Sapphire thought. “Thanks, I think,” she replied. “Um…”

Sapphire cocked her head, letting Ruby continue.

“I remembered. You were going to tell me something.”

Oh. She was. It had been about both of them, about the baby. And how they were going to have to tell Mrs. Song, and pay the price.

Sapphire had wanted so bad to tell Ruby— she had told hundreds of lies for hundreds of reasons, and none of the reasons the right ones. All they did was hurt. But she had trusted Ruby with the darkest truths she knew. She had kissed Ruby first, she had undone the buttons of her dress, she had invited Ruby in. And in return, Ruby had given her nothing but devotion, acceptance, even — God damn it — love. And telling those truths had felt _so good._

But then…here was Ruby. Sitting attentive, close up and open, her gaze fixed on every move Sapphire made. There was a small, tarnished hair clip behind Ruby’s ear, small enough to miss with a glance and simple enough to escape curiosity, but Sapphire knew at once who had given it to Ruby, and why. For the first time in perhaps her whole life, Ruby knew she would be accepted by two people close to her. She was _happy_. As awkward as she was, there was such pure joy in how she looked at Sapphire. To think of exposing Ruby to a problem Sapphire had begun, to take that happiness by the neck and shatter it for the good of a truth —

She moved fast. Sapphire hugged her as tight as she could, buried her head in her shoulder, and blinked at the tears that came.

“No,” she lied. “I just wanted to see you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> disclaimer:  
> \- sapphire doesn't know much about healthy intimate relationships  
> \- neither does ruby  
> \- THEY WILL TALK ABOUT IT!!!!
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> ((((whenever i update, amirite))))


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER: THIS IS TWICE AS LONG AS IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE AS THE CONVERSATIONS RAN AWAY WITHOUT MY PERMISSION AND I DONT KNOW HOW TO DRIVE MANUAL TRANSMISSION VEHICLES I BARELY EVEN KNOW HOW TO DRIVE A REGULAR CAR 
> 
> also yes i completely and totally imagine ruby and sapphire like how @happyds on tumblr draws them (their ruby booty game on point)

She should have known better.

Mother was so smart, and Sapphire had tried so hard to forget that. Tried to hope that she could hide the baby. Tried to tell herself that things would be okay. She supposed, in the end, that it was inevitable; she was lying to herself — she was such a good liar anyway. But Mother was smarter, and Mother had eyes everywhere. Sapphire…well, Sapphire had only one. And all it could see was that, without her blankets of denial, she was as good as dead, and there was nothing she could do about it.

After their secret meeting, both girls returned to their homes. Unsurprisingly, Sapphire hardly slept. In the past four days, she had received less than sixteen hours of sleep, and the strain was beginning to take its toll on her body. She woke up with a headache. By nine in the morning, she got fatigued just from walking up and down the stairs. When Amber suggested she take a nap before meeting with her fiancé for lunch, Sapphire snapped at her. She hadn’t meant it. It just came out, and she fumbled with the apology.

She ended up napping anyway.

By eleven thirty, the sky was overcast enough to turn on lights in the house. Sapphire wore a new dress. It was unadorned royal blue that fell past her knees, ruffled up around her shoulders, pinched at her waist, and dipped enough to expose her cleavage — Mother had never allowed clothing that did that. A sapphire pendant was to rest there.

“A gift from him,” Amber explained, clipping the silver chain around her neck. “He left it last night.”

Gingerly, Sapphire touched the pendant. The brilliant, iceblue stone was larger than a quarter, but not beautiful. Unlike the charm around her wrist, and like the large diamond on her left hand, this sapphire was flawless. A synthetic crystal. Pretty and expensive. But not valuable.

When Mother called, Sapphire walked alone to the dining hall. Her footsteps echoed much too loud on the marble floors as she entered, every eye on her. Mother was there, seated at the head of the table. Mother’s new husband, Gabriel, took the seat to her right. Standing to the left, Mother’s handmaid. Three of her older siblings: Kyanite, Cobalt, Turquoise. Even Lapis, the two-year-old, was there in a booster chair, her nursemaid hovering over her. On the opposite side of the table were her future in-laws — overshadowed by the empty chair in between them and their son.

Behind the empty chair, standing attentively against the wall, was Ruby. Randy and Ricky were nowhere to be seen. Odd, but not unheard of; three bodyguards to a private dinner was just excessive. Though Sapphire’s hair and a reflection on Ruby’s glasses hid both of their eyes, Sapphire could imagine their gazes meeting for just a second. Ruby still wore her hairclip.

Sucking in her breath, Sapphire took her seat, trying hard not to stare at either the grey-haired Korean woman to her left, the wide-eyed lover behind her, or the straight-backed fiancé to her right. He turned to her when she sat down.

“I see you have received my gift,” he said neutrally. Sapphire focused on the glass of water in front of her.

“Yes,” she responded, not looking him in the eye. She was partially afraid she would cry again if she did, and so instead she watched the pianist at the end of the dining hall. He always played the same songs during Mother’s dinner parties. The one in B flat major, the one in C sharp minor, the one in A minor, a few others. Quiet conversational music. Nothing with tunes you could carry, nothing you’d remember if you hadn’t heard them a hundred times. Limited dynamics. More rubato than necessary. The pianist looked bored out of his mind.

Haneul — her fiancé, but she only knew because Mother called him that — was talking about a corporation Sapphire had never heard of, in business terms Sapphire couldn’t understand. She did get the gist of it, however, and that he sported ethical business practices. Though _ethical_ was only relative.

The appetizers came out, which she didn’t eat, and the conversation swung to the marriage (through a reflection in the window, Sapphire saw Ruby shift uncomfortably, despite the conversation being in Korean. _I feel you there,_ she wanted to say).

Her in-laws wanted a big wedding with a lot of relatives. Mother wanted a small wedding in the countryside. Haneul did not care. But they all agreed that it would be back in Korea, and that it would take place in two months. Or, at least, they agreed until Mother set down her fork.

“Actually,” said Mother, “I would like to move the date of the wedding to next year.”

Sapphire wasn’t alone in her surprise. Haneul dabbed the corner of his mouth and frowned. “Hope, I’m sure you have your reasons,” he said. “But I had the impression that you wanted Sapphire in my hands as soon as possible.”

“I changed my mind,” replied Mother, sipping her wine. “I can’t bear to see my youngest daughter go so quickly — second youngest. My apologies, Gabriel. But I would like for Sapphire to spend the winter here.”

 _What?_ In what alternate dimension did Mother say things like that? She probably just had more lectures to give Sapphire on how to be a good wife. Or some skeevy business things to do before making the trip back to Korea. It certainly wasn’t because she would miss Sapphire when she was gone. But Sapphire didn’t say that, only pretended to eat her food.

Eventually, it was settled (the wedding would be in March), the main courses came out on silver platters, and the conversation shifted. The whole time, Sapphire could feel Mother watching, even as Haneul spoke to her. “My house is outside Incheon, just off the coast. I hope you find it pleasing, Sapphire. There are gardens that lead down to the beach, and they’re all attended by my servants, so there’s never any need to worry about work.”

His servants. Not the Corundums…maybe. “Would it be necessary,” Sapphire asked, “to bring my nursemaid or my bodyguards?”

Haneul shook his head. “It shouldn’t be. I have all the staff you should need, and I assure you that my house is safe. Unless you feel as if you will be homesick, or…”

“Yes,” replied Sapphire, relieved. “Yes, I may get homesick, thank you. I’ll see how I feel, and then — ”

“That’s _enough_ , Sapphire,” Mother snapped.

The whole hall fell silent. Even the piano player faltered.

Sapphire tried not to respond visibly, but something still rung very off about the command. Mother never interrupted before the end of a sentence; she would always wait until Sapphire had given her opinion before kindly shutting it down. She lowered her head. “Yes, Mother.”

She could _feel_ Mother’s gaze on her. It was nauseating, just as surreal as the rest of this conversation — what was Mother trying to do? Why did everything feel so wrong? — but she forced a spoonful of rice into her mouth anyway. It tasted like sand. As hard as she tried, she couldn’t swallow it. Her gag reflex pushed it back.

Sapphire hadn’t realized how hard she had been coughing until Hanuel jumped out of his chair and his mother leaned towards her with a napkin. “Are you alright, dear?” the older woman asked. All Sapphire could feel was Mother’s burning gaze. With all her will, she forced the rice down.

“I’m fine,” she said. But she wasn’t. The nausea was back, the same uneasiness as always, except much worse. _Oh God. Oh God oh God oh God—_

She knew it in the familiar way you did; she was going to throw up. She’d just woken up, after all, hadn’t she learned her lesson about morning sickness? No. Apparently, she hadn’t. And God, she was going to pay the price for it.

Heat bubbled up in Sapphire’s throat — _this couldn’t be happening —_ and she couldn’t think. She pushed out of her chair, made it halfway to the exit, and vomited on Mother’s polished marble floor.

_“Sapphire!”_

She’d expected voices, and she got them. But she hadn’t expected that one. When she pushed her hair out of her eye, she saw Ruby running towards her, hand outstretched to help her up. In the heat of the moment, Sapphire didn’t think to _think._ She didn’t let Ruby help her up. She put her hand in Ruby’s, she met her eyes once.

And it was enough.

From the table, there was a _clink_ as Mother set down her wineglass. Sapphire pulled away from Ruby, but she wasn’t quick enough. Her throat was bitter from vomit and dry as sandpaper.

“M- Mother, I swear, it’s not what it looks like — ”

“And what does it look like?” Mother cut in, her voice high. “Sneaking out, giving all your money to those servants, those tests? Do you think I’m _blind,_ Sapphire?”

 _God._ The pregnancy tests. Sapphire had sworn she wrapped them up and threw them in the garbage; she hadn’t thought that anyone would actually look through the trash and see them, much less Mother. This couldn’t be happening.

Around the table, her guests and family had all stood, as if they too felt Sapphire’s urge to run. “Hope,” said Hanuel calmly, “is there something about your daughter that you failed to mention?”

“What’s going on?” demanded Hanuel’s father, glaring at Gabriel. In turn, Gabriel turned, frightened, to Mother.

“Hope…” he murmured.

“Gyeong-mo, Hanuel,” said Mother, “I am truly sorry. But this meeting is over. My servants will show you out.”

“I’m afraid I won’t leave until I know that this transaction is secure,” Hanuel snapped. “If there is something wrong with Sapphire, you _will_ be honest with us.”

For a second, they glared at each other. And for a strange second, Sapphire almost sided with Hanuel, wishing that his persistence might force Mother to lie, and perhaps, in some fantastic twist of fate, that Hanuel would sweep her and Ruby to the beach home in Incheon where they would never have to face Mother again. But Mother just inclined her chin, said “Fair enough”, and switched to English.

“Sapphire, why don’t you tell us all what’s the matter?”

“I…” was all Sapphire could get out. She didn’t understand, everything was going too fast and too slow all at once, so much that she couldn’t hold on anymore. What was Mother doing? Obviously, she knew everything, but she needed Sapphire intact for the arranged marriage. She didn’t _gain_ anything from letting Sapphire admit this; in fact, it might just destroy the alliance forever.

But it was inevitable — Sapphire knew that well enough. Maybe, if she just did what Mother wanted, she would go easy on them. Hugging herself, Sapphire inhaled.

“I’m pregnant.”

She could pretty well predict what the reaction would be, but it didn’t hurt any less when it did. It wasn’t loud. It was being unable to meet her fiancé’s gaze. It was wide eyes from her siblings, a gasp from Hanuel’s parents, it was Gabriel looking wildly between her and Mother and mouthing, “Did you know?” And worst of all, it was Ruby reeling back like she had been slapped, her hand over her mouth.

Mother’s voice cut through the haze.

“And I assume it wasn’t a result of uncontrollable love for your gracious fiancé.” She stood up, and subconsciously Sapphire stepped back. “Sapphire, this was not part of our arrangement.”

“This was — not what I wanted!” Sapphire protested. “I don’t know what happened, I just…”

“NO!” _Ruby._ She pushed in front of Sapphire. “It was me — ”

“Clearly,” said Mother. “How dare you lay your hands on a member of my household?”

Ruby seemed to be on the verge of crying; her hands were drawn into herself and she looked like she wanted to curl up into a ball. Her voice was so weak. “F- forgive me, I…”

“No. You _will_ be punished for this,” Mother continued, her fist clenching. “You have broken the code in more places than is pardonable by our families’ alliance. You have defiled my daughter and brought dishonor upon both my family and yours. I _will_ pursue legal action, you will never set eyes on Sapphire again, your family _will_ compensate Haneul for his loss, and you _will_ spend the rest of your life in a jail cell. _Is that clear?”_

 _God._ Mother never yelled, and wasn’t now, but it made everything so much worse. And Sapphire couldn’t take it anymore. She wished Mother yelled, maybe then she could jump in and yell back. It might’ve been easier. Then, when Mother turned to Gabriel and told him to grab Ruby, she could have spoken up. She might have been able to stop it. But she couldn’t — everything was just so _quiet —_ her voice was gone.

So she didn’t argue. She didn’t scream. She didn’t even cry.

Instead she grabbed Ruby’s wrist and ran.

.

Ruby yelled the whole way out.

She’d dug her heels in for a half-second before fear won, and Sapphire tore off with her hand still clamped around Ruby’s wrist. They burst through the doors of the dining hall, Ruby stumbling to keep up with Sapphire. She’d always been fast. Just…this was different; though she’d made this choice, it was as if something else directed her feet to move. Something else broke her fatigue and let her run like the wind, faster than ever.

But first — damn the high heels. While turning a corner, she let them slip off, hit the marble with bare feet, and sped up with her bodyguard still in tow. At some point her fingers had woven through Ruby’s, holding fast.

When looking back, she would have wished she had gone to her room, but Ruby’s brothers were running down that hall towards them. _Nope, nope, never mind._ She took a left, then a right, and they burst into the garage.

Her first instinct: the fastest car. No, not what they’d need. She pulled Ruby past the shiny things and behind the divide, to the mansion staff’s industrial vehicles — the big vans used to carry equipment and bulk supplies. She needed keys — all on a row of hooks. She took the first one she saw, matched it to a big white van, and practically shoved Ruby into the passenger’s seat.

“What are you doing?!” Ruby shrieked as Sapphire clambered into the driver’s seat. “Y — you don’t know how to drive!”

“I’ll figure it out,” Sapphire said, whipped off her gloves, and turned the ignition.

She actually had never driven anything before — much less a giant van. But she’d watched Ruby do it, even read some owner’s manuals (just in case, since she had this recurring dream where the driver would pass out and Sapphire would have to drive in their place) so it didn’t take her long to figure out where things were.

A minute later, Sapphire pulled out into the pouring rain, crushed a bed of flowers, flattened two bushes, and shot down the driveway at thirty miles per hour. Ruby was pressed against the back of the passenger’s seat, gripping the armrests for dear life. “Sapphire…” she warned, her voice cracking.

Sapphire knew. In her side mirror, through the sheets of rain, she saw several figures tear out of the mansion and after them. “I know,” she replied. “But we’re faster.”

“Huh? Wh — not them! THAT!”

Ruby pointed forward, to the iron gates a hundred feet in front of them. Closed and locked. Ahh. Praying that her limited knowledge of stick shift vehicles was correct, Sapphire released the clutch and stomped down hard on the accelerator. The engine roared. The van lurched forward. And they careened towards the closed gates at forty, fifty, sixty miles an hour.

Ruby’s reaction: “Wh — NOOOOOO!”

Sapphire’s reaction: _Fuck yes._

She will admit, however, that she squeezed her eyes shut upon impact, mostly from the hair-raising shriek of tearing metal. But though the van jerked, it didn’t stop. They were on the main rural road. Sapphire’s hand was wrapped around the stick shift so tightly that she could feel the beginnings of bruises.

But she kept driving through the wind and the rain, listening to her own heartbeat and Ruby’s panicked, gasping breath. Slowly Sapphire settled into the speed limit and flicked on the windshield wipers. She realized that she had been driving in the middle of the road. Ruby had said nothing — still in shock.

Her beginner’s luck lasted about five minutes. Five minutes later, Sapphire realized three things at the exact same time: that she had no idea where she was, that she was probably in the middle of the road again, and that there was a car headed straight for them. Half-panicked, she jerked the wheel right.

And straight for a telephone pole.

Though the van had survived smashing into a century-old gate, it didn’t stand a chance against new, solid pine. The trunk made a sickening _CRUNCH_ and suddenly all Sapphire could see was white. Airbags. Rain was getting in — oops, the windshield was gone. She slid her hands free of the airbag and patted herself down, no, nothing was hurt. Some scratches on her face from the glass, but nothing bad. Subconsciously her hand settled over her stomach.

Once again nauseous and shaking, Sapphire squeezed out of the damaged van, circled around the back, and opened the passenger’s side. A bewildered Ruby fell out and landed in the grass with a little “oof”. She stared at Sapphire, then down at herself, did a quick check of her body as well, and glanced back at the van. Only then, she started panicking.

“Oh God — oh _God.”_

The telephone pole, like a knife, had cleaved right down the middle of the hood. Despite the heavy rain, black smoke leaked from the mess. _That can’t be good._

Sapphire only managed to lead Ruby a few meters from the wreckage before Ruby snapped back into it. She pulled away from Sapphire, looked at her own hands, and then stared at Sapphire. At the messy hair, the tattered skirt, the vomit-spattered bodice, the muddy bare feet. Ruby’s right glasses lens was cracked.

“Why’d you do that?!” she cried. “I have to get you back there!”

“They were going t — to hurt you,” Sapphire stammered, but Ruby didn’t take it.

“Who cares?! There’s _tons_ of people like me!”

Her big, dark eyes glittered. Sapphire couldn’t respond. She could hardly believe herself, how blind she’d been — of course Ruby wouldn’t want to come. She was a Corundum. Groomed to serve since birth, constantly told that she was nothing but a tool.

Like Sapphire.

Ruby was pacing, trotting over there, then here, then there again, murmuring in frustration as she looked right and left. The occasional car zoomed past on the road, but no one stopped. Nothing looked familiar, either. Farmland surrounded them. A burning van behind them.

“Gah!” Ruby groaned. “What do we do now?!”

But Sapphire didn’t know. For once in her life, she couldn’t even find an idea of what to do. Not even an inkling. Until now, she had been told every moment of her life. How she would do things, when, what would come out. Everything had had a plan B. But because of that night — because of Ruby’s fight with Jacob Lyre, because of twenty minutes in the backseat of a car, because of Sapphire’s impulse to run — her life changed forever. There would be no wedding in South Korea. No future in the Songs’ business, either. Everything was wrong, and new. She couldn’t think, she couldn’t move. She was…frozen.

Shaking, she turned around and dry-heaved into the corn.

There was nothing left in her stomach to throw up, so she just stood there and gagged until she felt Ruby’s hand on her shoulder. In Ruby’s other hand was a plastic water bottle, which she accepted gratefully to wash out her mouth. “Where did you get this?” she asked. Awkward, Ruby just pointed back to the burning van, whose back doors had been wrenched open.

Ruby dug around in the back as long as she could — that is, until the fire from the front spread to the back and the van all but exploded behind her — and returned smelling like smoke and with a plastic bag of salvageable things. More water bottles, some cans of food (no can opener), a singed blanket, a few hand towels, and a lighter. The blanket went around Sapphire’s head and shoulders. Then, unexpectedly, Ruby pulled her up into her arms, one hand under Sapphire’s knees and the other behind her back.

“C’mon,” Ruby told her. “We have to get you out of here.”

It was funny how she said _we,_ Sapphire would later remark, except it wasn’t really funny at all. She had a feeling Ruby caught it as well — that her brothers weren’t here. That she was alone.

Ruby began walking down the road, on the flat land between the road to their left and the corn to their right. It didn’t seem too bad. Sapphire knew the farmland had to end eventually. But as the rain let up and the minutes ticked by, Sapphire began to lose hope. Still, Ruby didn’t stop, only kept her brisk trotting pace in the grass while still carrying Sapphire. She was so strong…

Eventually Sapphire and Ruby both began to cramp up from the carrying, so they set to taking five minute breaks every thirty minutes. Whenever a suspicious-looking car came up, Ruby would whisk her into the corn and crouch down. It meant they couldn’t get a ride, but it also meant they wouldn’t be found. Sapphire swore that at least one of the cars belonged to Mother.

(And — though she wouldn’t admit it aloud — the hiding meant Ruby held her close, letting Sapphire lay her head on Ruby’s chest. Her jacket smelled, for some reason, like butterscotch.)

As Ruby wore down, breaks became more frequent, and the sky began to darken, they finally saw dark buildings on the horizon. “Should we find someone who can help us?” asked Ruby as they came up to a bridge. It crossed a river that seemed to rim a good part of the town. It had started to rain again.

“No,” Sapphire replied after a second. “We should hide. Chances are, Mother has put eyes in every town in the county — further out as time goes on. If we make contact with anyone, it will have to be our last resort. For now…we should hide.”

The last three words seemed to seal something. It was happening. Sapphire was running away. Even more — she looked up to Ruby, to her round dark face, her soft eyes — she was eloping.

But whatever it was, they couldn’t turn around. And Sapphire didn’t want to.

They stopped at the beginning of the bridge — in full sight, with nowhere to hide, but no one was around. Sapphire looked down at the rushing water, surrounded on both sides by raised concrete walkways. The only way down was by a rusting service ladder.

“Here,” said Ruby, setting Sapphire down, “climb on my back.”

In all seriousness, Sapphire probably could have climbed down the ladder on her own, but _god_ she was tired, and Ruby seemed so determined. With Sapphire latched to her piggyback-style, Ruby tested the ladder and then scaled down to the walkway. Trembling from fatigue, she set Sapphire on the dry ground under the bridge and glanced over her shoulder.

“Alright,” she took a deep breath, “this should be good for now.”

Sapphire pulled back the damp red blanket and pushed her hair out of her eye. “Thank you,” she told Ruby. She hadn’t thought much of it, but then Ruby met her gaze and all but froze. Didn’t even blink before she caught herself.

“Oh! Uh,” Ruby laughed awkwardly, wiped her glasses off on her shirt, and then glanced around. “I’m…uh…gonna find some firewood.”

And like that she scuttled off, glancing back at Sapphire twice.

Almost an hour later (dry wood was hard to find when it was dark and raining), Sapphire sat next to a small, crackling fire, rubbing her hands together. The blanket was spread out and drying. Ruby had a can of chicken noodle soup in one hand and a sharp rock in the other, but she didn’t even sit down while she tried to open the can. She just paced. One lap around the drying blanket. Twice. Three times.

“What kind of bodyguard am I supposed to be?” she wailed, and clacked the rock against the can. “Look at this! It’s all my fault you’re stuck out here!”

“I’m pretty sure I was driving the van,” put in Sapphire mildly. But in all her frustration, this had little effect on Ruby. Five laps around the blanket.

“But I — you’re _pregnant,_ Sapphire! I did this! And now Miz Song’s all mad at you and we can’t go back there and — and we don’t have any money. We can’t go anywhere without money. I can’t even get this stupid can open. How am I gonna save you?”

Sapphire stared at the little fire, kept alive by newspaper and twigs. Then she held out her hand, taking the can and the rock from Ruby.

“You already did,” she replied.

“What?!”

“You already saved me,” repeated Sapphire. She peeled the label off the soup can and fed it to the flames, then wedged the sharp edge of the rock against the seal of the can. “I thought about what you said…about Lyre. My mother was wrong. It wasn’t a transaction, he was trying to rape me, plain and simple. If you hadn’t shown up, he could have really hurt me.”

Ruby was quiet. Then, gingerly, she sat down on the other side of the fire.

“But now I’ve hurt you,” she said quietly.

Sapphire pursed her lips. “I wouldn’t say that.”

“Wh — why not?”

At last, the can gave way. Sapphire lodged the rock under the lid, peeled it back, and nudged it close to the fire to heat it. She hesitated, her cheeks warming, and not just because of the fire.

“It takes two to tango,” she replied brusquely, “and by tango, I mean to have good sex.”

“Oh.”

They went quiet. Ruby was looking at her hand — where her skin was still pale and rough from a month-old scrape. Sapphire’s had long since closed up, but Ruby worked so much with her hands that it hadn’t had the chance to heal properly. Sapphire stared at her own hands, still warming them by the fire. Like always, the tiny sapphire charm dangled from the silver chain around her wrist. The firelight cast flashes of purple through it.

It was about then that the soup began to steam, so Ruby pulled it away from the fire, wrapped the hand towel around the hot sides, and gave it to Sapphire. She drank half of the warm soup before giving it back. “Hopefully, morning sickness isn’t contagious,” she remarked. Meanwhile, Ruby seemed sincerely surprised at having been given food.

“Are you sure you’re not hungry anymore, ma’am?”

“I’m about half full,” Sapphire said, “but you’re all the way empty, so never mind what I feel.”

Ruby murmured an excuse that went kind of like, “But leftover bacteria from the stomach can be toxic, even if they’re not stereotypical disease-causing bacteria…” And it wasn’t convincing at all.

“I have no idea what that means,” Sapphire said truthfully. “Eat the soup, Ruby.”

She didn’t protest after that. “Yes’m.”

Once again, they sat in silence as Ruby ate her fill. After she was done, she set down the can and looked at the fire like she was thinking about something.

“Penny for your thoughts,” Sapphire offered.

“Was…it really that good?”

Sapphire frowned. “The soup?”

“No,” Ruby’s eyes darted, and Sapphire realized what she was going to say a second before she did. “Our…our time together, on prom night, you said you had fun…”

“The sex,” Sapphire finished. “You’re asking if it was good.”

(Oh stars, that was so cute — Ruby still got so embarrassed at the s-word. She fiddled with the hem of her shirt.) “Yes…?”

“Well…” It _was_ a kind of loaded question, now that she was answering it. “Your performance was admirable. Not that it’s supposed to be a test, I didn’t mean it like that. But I had fun, and if you did too, then it was good sex.”

Ruby nodded, considering this, and Sapphire added, “But what do I know? I’m supposed to be a virgin.”

It was a joke, but it fell flat as Sapphire was the only one who laughed — and she didn’t even do it out loud. “I’m not,” she added thoughtlessly, then flushed deeper. Of course not. Finally, Ruby laughed shyly.

“Yeah…I don’t think I am, either.”

“My my. I would never have thought,” gasped Sapphire, laying on the sarcasm. “How undignified of us both.”

It took a second for Ruby to catch on, but when she did, she grinned — big and happy and true.  “How criminal,” Ruby continued. “Better lock me up before we look at each other again.”

“The _scandal,”_ Sapphire giggled. Ruby struck a dramatic pose, her hand going up to her forehead.

“Such a disgrace.”

“The sanctity of my skeevy arranged business marriage is in peril.”

“Oh MY.”

“Teens having sex — such an alien concept.”

“Who woulda thought.”

“I’m going to be honest,” Sapphire put in, “despite all the abstinence-only messages in our health class, I’m willing to bet that at least thirty to fifty percent of our school was sexually active.”

Ruby shook her head. “I’d narrow the margins. Even the social recluses were getting it — trust me, Bismuth had all the gossip on everyone. I’ll wager on fifty to sixty percent.”

She thought and then nodded. “You’re probably right. Though you know who accounted for a good fraction of that.”

“Oh…well, I don’t want to spread rumors…”

“We already graduated; it’s fine. Besides, you know who I’m thinking of.”

“Who?”

“Karen Gossamer.”

“Oh…yeah.”

“I hope she’s doing well,” Sapphire surprised even herself with that statement. She had never liked Karen to begin with. “We kind of left her alone at the dance with Lyre. I never saw her with him again afterwards, though.”

“Well…when I talked to her, she didn’t seem to like him a lot. Ricky told me that he actually danced with her for a while and then she went home with friends.”

“Ricky danced with Karen?” Sapphire repeated, surprised — Karen must have been really bored. “Wonder if that’s all.”

Ruby made the face that Sapphire had come to equate with a blush. “I mean…he said ‘dancing’, but he kept winking and he lost his tie. And Randy wouldn’t stop laughing.”

“I see.” The exchange brought the ironic idea that Ruby may not have been the only Corundum to lose their virginity that night, but also important new information — the Corundum triplets _did_ talk about intimate affairs with each other. Sapphire had never been close with her siblings; she wouldn’t know. “Did you happen to ever…tell them about this?”

“This what?”

 _Us_ , pecked at Sapphire’s tongue. She held it. “Our affair.”

“Oh,” said Ruby, “no, I tried not to say anything. But — ” she gave a little laugh “ — you know how twins are.”

Sapphire frowned, as she actually didn’t.

“Mom says we’re telepathic, only with each other,” Ruby explained. “Like sometimes one of us’ll do something and the rest of us just kinda _know._ It’s just ‘cuz we’ve got the same genes and upbringing. Same nature and nurture, I guess. So we think a lot alike. So they never knew for certain who, but they eventually figured out that…uh…you know. That I wasn’t a virgin.”

Just like Ruby’s mother had. Honestly, Ruby was such an open book.

“I always knew you three were close,” Sapphire mused. “You’re always fighting…but at the same time, you like being around each other, you trust each other so much. I never understood that.”

“Well…” Ruby seemed to think, and hugged her legs to her chest. “Whenever I’m with them, it’s like…they _get_ me. It’s like I could say anything and they wouldn’t judge me or, or stop loving me. That’s just what a family is.”

 _A family._ Sapphire looked down at her hands, resting in her lap. She’d had one, but Ruby’s version was new. Subconsciously, she began to rub her abdomen. She often felt thick and sore around there — the baby was there, she couldn’t deny it. She wondered what would happen if she could carry it to term, what her life would be like afterwards, and the most terrifying part was that she didn’t know. Could she have that family when she was on the run and unmarried? And what about Ruby? Sapphire cringed at the thought of tying Ruby down to this situation — even though, like she’d said, it took two to tango — but more than anything she hated the idea of being alone.

But she just said, “That does sound nice.”

It wasn’t transparent enough. Ruby gaped at her, something brimming on her lips, but it never came out.

It had gotten dark fast, probably because of the strengthening storm — there was lightning, thunder, the whole deal. The river water began to churn, and though it was a good few feet below the walkway, Sapphire couldn’t help but think how awful it would be if they woke up in an inch of floodwater.

Ruby left twice to get new firewood, especially as the temperature began to drop. The last time, she came back holding a log about two feet long and dripping wet as if she’d fallen in the river — she had. Clearly flushed, but too cold to keep wearing the wet clothes, Ruby stripped down to her equally soaked undershirt and boxers and set her uniform to dry in front of the fire.

(The whole time, Sapphire couldn’t help but observe how Ruby’s underwear, clinging to her chiseled body, left nothing to the imagination. She had such a cute butt, it was incredible.)

But Sapphire said nothing about her cute butt, and Ruby just sat down with her log. Slowly, determinedly, she carved the wet bark off with her small pocketknife, then broke up the dry wood inside. “That should be enough to last the night,” Ruby said, wiping her brow. “I…uh…I don’t know where you can sleep…but…” She picked up her jacket, checked if it was dry, and then began to wad it up.

“The blanket’s fine,” Sapphire said abruptly. “Keep your jacket.”

Ruby did not listen. The jacket was stuffed with the miscellaneous hand towels and placed right where Sapphire would lay her head. And instead of lying down, Ruby returned to her “post” at the mouth of the bridge, sitting cross-legged, watching. Guarding. Above them, the bridge and the sky thundered as cars crossed and heat met cold. Scooting closer to the fire, Sapphire wrapped herself tighter in the blanket.

She didn’t fall asleep. She watched the fire die. She watched as Ruby added more wood and rubbed her hands over her bared, muscular arms as the chill hit her, too…

“Ruby, I’m cold,” said Sapphire, her voice small. “Can you sleep here, with me?”

Ruby’s eyes widened in disbelief, but she nodded quickly and got to the ground a few feet from Sapphire. Not exactly what Sapphire meant. But a start. Picking up the blanket and Ruby’s jacket-turned pillow, Sapphire crossed the distance between them and lay down beside Ruby.

The blanket wasn’t very large, forcing their faces only a few inches apart, but the shared body heat was an improvement. Not to mention the fact that her exposed skin was warmest, tempting Sapphire to strip to her undies and press against Ruby. She didn’t, though. Just tucked her arms in, curled up on her side, and pulled the blanket tight around both of them.

“Is this okay?” she asked.

Ruby nodded. In the movement and the flickering firelight, the hairclip behind her ear shimmered, and almost automatically Sapphire reached out to touch it. Compared to Ruby’s mass of tiny curls, it didn’t do much.

“Wait,” she told Ruby, sitting up. She went for the sash of her dress — which was more decorative than functional, after all — and instructed Ruby to sit up and turn around. It took some trial and error, but Sapphire managed to loop the sash in a headband and tie a fancy bow in the back. She moved the hairclip to the front to hold the sash. The entire time, Ruby was practically on the edge of her seat to see what was happening.

“How does it look?” she asked, suddenly energetic.

Pursing her lips, Sapphire turned her around to see — and her first reaction was _Shit, she’s cute._ A far cry from “passing”, not even with her young face and high voice, but who cared?

“It works,” was all Sapphire could say.

Gingerly, Ruby touched the bow, then her hair, then Sapphire’s hand. The last seemed to be an accident, as she pulled back with that flustered face, but then looked down at it again.

“Is there something wrong?” Sapphire asked, afraid that she’d done something wrong.

Ruby shook her head. “Just…just nervous. It’s nothing.”

Normally, if someone didn’t want to talk, Sapphire would leave them alone. But she knew why Ruby pulled back. She had spent years reading faces and this one was painted thick with guilt and anxiety. Ruby knew the rules, perhaps better than Sapphire did — even conversations like the one over soup were taboo, punishable by nights in the cellar or extra chores. It was a conversation that had gotten them into this mess. Of course Ruby felt awful.

So Sapphire put her hand over Ruby’s, wrapped the other half of the blanket over Ruby’s shoulders, and snuggled into her warmth. When she tried to say things, nothing felt right. _We’re going to get through this_ — too weak. _I know what you’re feeling —_ no, she didn’t. She could read a lot, but she didn’t know. At best, she felt lost. At worst, apathy. But there was something more in Ruby’s eyes, there were tears, there was fear. She was leaving something behind.

“Your family,” Sapphire said suddenly. “You’re worried for them.”

“I’m — I’m _terrified._ ” Ruby blinked rapidly. “You heard what your mom said, she's going to punish them, even if I'm not around. We, my brothers, they never paid attention in school because they knew they were just gonna keep working for your family anyway, they can't provide for my mom, she can't barely read, my dad's gone. If they get fired, they got nowhere to go, and if your mom wants them to pay, they don't got money, and — and I'm scared. I miss them. What if I never see them again?"

"My mother's not going to fire them," replied Sapphire. "Unfortunately, she needs workers who are easily exploitable, and they're getting harder and harder to find. But if she does fire them, I've already spoken to your mother on how to sue for workplace abuse."

"You...what?"

"Your mother's an incredibly smart woman, you know. She found out before I did...about the baby, I mean. Neither of us knew what to do, but I felt that problems would arise regardless. So, in case, I looked into a law firm and gave her that information, along with twelve hundred dollars to pay the lawyer up front if needed. I would have given more, but that was all I had."

It had actually been _all_ she had, every last saving. And it was why they were penniless now.

But it was worth it to see Ruby relax, even smile. "Thank you," she whispered, clutching Sapphire's hands tight. And quickly, as if acting before she could regret it, Ruby lifted their hands and brushed her lips against the back of Sapphire’s.

Their eyes met. Sapphire replied before a word could be said.

She pushed herself up and kissed Ruby, long and tender and soft as she could manage, softer than she’d ever known. In the middle of it all was a ice cold, hard circle in the form of Sapphire’s pendant, the large sapphire crystal given to her by Haneul, pressing into Sapphire’s skin as she pulled closer to Ruby. The diamond on Sapphire’s fourth finger got in the way as she ran her hand through Ruby’s hair. But they were nothing next to Ruby’s warm embrace, to the sweetness of Ruby’s lips on hers, to the fire in Ruby’s cheeks as Sapphire caressed her soft face.

Yet Sapphire still stopped as she looked at the pendant and the ring again, a sudden thought on the tip of her tongue. “What if,” she murmured, “we weren’t stuck?”

Ruby frowned. “I…I’m not sure I know what you mean, ma’am.”

That was okay. Sapphire hadn’t either. But as she unclipped the necklace and slipped off the ring to get a better look, the inklings of a plan began to arrange themselves in her mind. It was crazy. But it was better than nothing.

“If we were to sell these,” Sapphire said, “how much do you think they’d go for?”

The realization began to dawn on Ruby’s face. A smile pricked at her lips. “I dunno. But…I think I know a girl.”

“So do I.” Sapphire’s hand closed around the jewelry. And suddenly she felt a little less cold.


End file.
